


I’ve Forgotten How it Felt Before (The World Fell at Our Feet)

by LovingCSFanfiction



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 03:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5075197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingCSFanfiction/pseuds/LovingCSFanfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma saw Killian walking with his arms cuffed behind his back, his head down. Two policemen were on both sides of him, pulling him to the farthest of three police cars. The lights were still flashing, although the sounds were gone, as four more policemen exited the front door.</p>
<p>She watched as Killian was pushed into the backseat of the car.</p>
<p>She watched as all the lights stopped flashing.</p>
<p>She watched as the three police cars drove away.</p>
<p>“I’ll wait for you,” she whispered, putting her hand up to the window. “I love you.”</p>
<p>--- </p>
<p>When Killian sacrifices himself for his wife, Emma, and their son, Henry, he ends up going to jail. In fear of being caught herself, Emma and Henry flee  to Storybrooke, Maine and take on the aliases, “Leia and Liam Swan”. But, what happens when Killian is released from prison 10 years later, and Leia has all but forgotten about her husband? CS Modern Day AU. Title from lyrics to Adele’s “Hello”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There’s Such A Difference Between Us, And A Million Miles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HookedonCS](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HookedonCS/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [killians-dashingrescue (caroc25)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caroc25/gifts), [foundmyhome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/foundmyhome/gifts).



Emma stopped in her tracks, swiveling around to look at Killian as the sounds of sirens were coming from the distance. Her eyes widened as she watched Killian tip-toe over to the window and gently sweep back the curtains, allowing blue and red flashing lights to brighten the room.

“Swan, go.” Killian said, running over to her and putting a hand on each side of her arms. “Go, now!”

“No!” Emma replied, shaking her head and jerking out of his grasp. “I’m not leaving without you.”

The sounds were getting louder, closer, and Emma knew there were minutes  _at most_ before the cops bust into the room and found them.

“Please,  _please_  go.” Killian was pleading, his voice strained and his breathing heavy. Emma shook her head again, wiping the tears away from her eyes. He brought his hands up to her, cupping her face and rubbing the apples of her cheeks. “Emma, we have a  _son_ , he needs his mother.” He choked out.

“Henry needs his father, too.” Emma brought her hands up to rest on his wrists. “I can’t leave you here.”

“Emma,” He looked like he was in physical pain, and Emma hated that this was what their last moments were going to be like. “I need you to leave.” When she still stayed planted, he took his hands away from her face and picked her up, running upstairs to the hall closet and shoving her inside, despite her protests along the way. “Stay in here, hide.”

Emma took in a deep breath. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

 _“SPPD, open up.”_  Even from upstairs, they could hear the police yelling from outside the door. Emma’s heart began racing as she looked at Killian.

“Take Henry and leave Storybrooke. Go far away and become new people. Do this for me, okay?”

Emma nodded, having a hard time talking.

“ _Open up or we’ll have to kick it down.”_

“I’m not a tearful goodbye kiss person…  But maybe just this once.” Emma grabbed Killian’s face, bringing him to her and kissing him with every bit of love she had.

The door broke from downstairs, and Killian broke their kiss.

“I’ll be out in 10 years. Wait for me, okay?”

Emma nodded. “I promise,” she whispered.

Killian gave one last look before pushing her back into the far corner, moving coats around to cover her up and shutting the door.

It was pitch black. Emma brought her left hand up and covered her mouth and nose, trying to stifle her cries as she listened to what was going on outside the thin door.

_“Put your hands where we can see ‘em.”_

_“I would, but I only have the one, mate.”_

Jingling, pounding, she could swear she heard an “oomph” coming from Killian’s voice.

_“Where is she?”_

_“Who?”_

_“Your accomplice – Emma Jones?”_

_“Not here.”_

There was stomping, doors opening and slamming.

There were footsteps outside in the hallway, and Emma knew it was a matter of time before they checked the bedrooms, the bathroom, and the very closet she was standing in. She pushed back even further, and something hard jabbed into her side. She looked down to see a black handle right next to her hip.

_“You’re telling us she didn’t come with you to rob this house?”_

_“Aye.”_

Slowly, she turned it, and a secret door opened up to a rickety staircase. It was nearly pitch black, a draft, and she could feel spider webs in the doorway.

The door next to her – probably to the kid’s bedroom – slammed open, and she knew it was now or never. She swiftly stepped into the passageway, moving the coats and linens around a bit so that whomever came in couldn’t see anyone was in there, and silently closed the door.

Emma followed the stairs, not knowing where she was going through the house (or what she might meet). She could barely breathe, unsure if it was from the physical activity, the fear, or the heartbreak.

The staircase seemed to go on forever, and she heard the closet door she just vacated kicked in. She didn’t look back, though, as she put one foot in front of the other, trying to block out the sounds and emotions she was going through.

Finally, she reached another doorway, and slowly, she went into that room.

It was some sort of attic, pitch black except for the moonlight coming in through the circle window at the front of the house. She got down on her hands and knees and crawled over to the window, merely peeking out of the glass to see what was going on outside.

Emma saw Killian walking with his arms cuffed behind his back, his head down. Two policemen were on both sides of him, pulling him to the farthest of three police cars. The lights were still flashing, although the sounds were gone, as four more policemen exited the front door.

She watched as Killian was pushed into the backseat of the car.

She watched as all the lights stopped flashing.

She watched as the three police cars drove away.

“I’ll wait for you,” she whispered, putting her hand up to the window. “I love you.”

* * *

**9 years, 363 days later…**

The light was bright, coming in through the window and waking her up from a peaceful night’s sleep. Emma rolled over, under the warm covers and scrunched her eyes, trying to fall back asleep.

“You forgot to close the blinds last night,” she said, knowing that the man next to her was just as awake as she was.

He reached his hand up and placed it at the base of her neck, rubbing in small circles. “Sorry, Leia. I was a little… busy.” Emma smiled, opening her eyes to see her boyfriend, Graham, grinning at her. “I promise I’ll remember tonight.”

Emma let out a chuckle. “Where have I heard that before?” She rolled over and picked up her phone, pressing it on. “Liam needs to be up in five minutes for school.”

“He’s probably already up,” Graham said, sliding out of the bed and going to the bathroom. “It’s the first day of school and he’s going into junior high. You know he’s been going back and forth between excited and scared for the last three weeks.”

Emma admired his muscled back as he leaned over the tub to turn on the shower. “Yeah, well…” Emma finally pulled back the blanket and walked over to the dresser, finding the first pair of yoga pants and cami she could find. “I should already get breakfast started, then.”

Graham made some sort of grunt in agreement as she left the bedroom, padding her way through the house to the kitchen. Sure enough, Henry was sitting in a pile of books and pencils and notebooks in the middle of the living room.

“Good morning, Liam,” Emma said, more cheerfully than she actually felt. “Ready for your first day of middle school?”

“I don’t have note cards!” Henry turned in his spot to face Emma, panic clear on his whole body. “Mom, we didn’t get note cards!”

Emma laughed as she reached down to grab a pan to make some eggs. “Did you check the side pocket?” She moved over to the stove and turned it on, placing the pan on top.

Henry let out a loud sigh. “Oh, thank goodness,” she heard him say. She shook her head as she smiled, leaning over the counter to put on the kitchen TV.

_“In other news, Killian Jones is being released from prison in two days after serving a ten-year sentence.”_

Emma froze as she turned towards the TV, staring at the story they were telling on the news.

_“Killian performed a series of armed robberies, ending up with nearly $800,000 worth of electronics and other property over his three years. His accomplice and wife, a woman named Emma Jones, and their son were never found when he went to jail in 2005.”_

Emma took a step towards the TV in a trance, looking at the mug shot of the man she fell in love with all those years ago. Her heart seized up as she stared, his blue eyes as vibrant as she remembered them.

_“Killian was finally caught in St. Padre, New Mexico. After a three-week trial, he was sentenced to ten years in a minimum-security prison in Arizona. His wife has since been cleared of all charges due to Killian pleading guilty on all charges. He will be let out on a one-year parole.”_

“Mom? MOOOOM?” Henry yelled, waving his hand in front of her face.

Emma jumped in shock, slowly turning her head to look at him. “Mmm?”

“Are you okay? You dropped that plate and the eggs are brown, and you haven’t moved in, like, five minutes.”

She turned back to look at the TV, but the newscaster was onto a story about the state fair. “Yeah, um…” Emma shook her had, trying to erase everything in her mind. “Yeah, I just… You said you found your note cards?”

He had his father’s hair, his nose, and when he smiled, it was all-Killian. Henry stared at her in that way that saw right through her, just like Killian used to. She hadn’t put the two and two together until she saw his mug shot on the screen.

Henry rarely asked about his father anymore, having Graham around. He was only two when Killian left for prison and they traveled across country to Storybrooke. Emma changed their whole identities – they took on Killian’s nickname for her, “Swan”, as their last name. She’s become Leia, her son was known as Liam (after Killian’s brother). She died her hair brown, started to wear glasses again… It was easy enough to disappear, and after about a year, she stopped looking over her shoulder in fear of cops looking for “Emma and Henry Jones”.

The following year, Graham moved to Storybrooke, and they just kind of…  _clicked_. They became fast friends – even Henry at age three was smitten with him – but the promise she made to Killian was still on her mind. So, whenever Graham asked her out, she’d decline, saying they were better as friends.

But then, Killian went from the front of her mind, to the middle, to the back, until she had only a fleeting thought of him, once in a while. She was happy, and once she let Killian go, she was able to move forward with Graham, and the three of them – “Graham, Leia, and Liam” – became some sort of family.

It took Henry a surprisingly short time to take to the name “Liam”, and now she doesn’t even think of him as Henry Jones, or even herself as Emma Jones. They’re Liam and Leia, and “Liam’s” father died as a firefighter when he was a little boy.

Graham came out of their bedroom holding a towel up to his hair, rubbing it back and forth on his head and smiling, before he took in the room. “What happened?”

Emma looked over at their ruined breakfast. “I just had a little bit of trouble with breakfast. Cereal okay for your first day, kid?” She asked, turning back to Henry.

“No problem.” He walked over to the cupboard and picked out the most sugary food he could find. She rolled her eyes but merely got out the milk for him.

Graham and Henry talked nonstop during breakfast, discussing middle school and how Henry had nothing to worry about. Emma kept looking at Henry, trying to ignore what she saw on the news this morning, but couldn’t see “Liam” before her anymore. He was her son,  _Killian’s_  son, Henry.

And the thought scared her.

“Leia,” she heard Graham say, and her eyes shot back to her boyfriend. “Want me to take Liam to school? You seem sort of… Not yourself today.”

Emma gave a soft smile. “Yeah, I think I just need a bit of time to myself.” She scooted out of the chair and brought her bowl to the sink.

She walked over to Henry and kissed his hair (his brown hair,  _Killian’s_  brown hair, not her own blonde-died-brown). “Have a good first day. I’ll see you after school, alright? I want to hear everything.” She tried to smile, but she could feel it was more of a grimace.

Henry popped an eyebrow as he nodded his head. “Sure thing, Mom.”

Emma gave one last smile before she left the room to go to her bedroom, hoping a shower would clear her mind.

* * *

Emma spent the entire day thinking of Killian and their life ten years ago. They met when Emma was trying to steal an already stolen car – one he had stolen only two days before. They started to team up and make bigger and bigger robberies, selling the stolen goods for a profit until they could buy their own little apartment.

Slowly, they began a dalliance, and Henry was born. They kept up their businesses, declaring  _“When we get enough, we’ll make honest people out of ourselves to make a better life for Henry.”_

Then 10 years ago, on that fateful night, they decided to rob the Mills Mansion.

And they were caught.

Well,  _he_  was caught.

And she promised she’d wait for him, that she loved him.

But she didn’t.

And all day, she’s been having a hard time trying to decide if she should feel bad about that. It was unreasonable for her to think that she had to stay faithful to a man in jail, one that she made a promise to when she was barely a legal adult, wasn’t it?

Graham and Henry left her alone, Graham didn’t even text her during his lunch break like usual. She picked up Henry, and she tried listening to him – really  _tried_  to hear what he was saying about his first day of middle school, but it was no use. She settled for smiling and nodding her head, agreeing when he said, “Ya know?” and making it back home in record time.

The three of them had dinner, like  _always_ , and before she knew it, she and Graham were sitting together on the couch when Henry went to bed.

“You’ve been distant today. You okay, Leia?” Graham asked, his blue eyes staring right into Emma’s with such love and concern. (His blue eyes, that suddenly weren’t so blue anymore, remembering the vibrant color of Killian’s.)

“It’s nothing,” Emma smiled. “Everything’s fine, I promise.”

(Her smile faded as she thought of that one promise she never kept.)

“Are you sure?”

Emma nodded, and Graham nodded back.

They went to their room in silence, changing into PJ’s and sliding under the covers. They both lay on their sides, looking at each other. “I love you,” he said, reaching over and cupping her face.

“I love you, too.” She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes.

She fell asleep like that, being comforted by her boyfriend.

* * *

_“You didn’t wait for me.”_

_“What? No! I…”_

_“Why didn’t you wait for me? You promised me you’d wait.”_

_“Killian, you don’t understand.”_

_“Don’t I, Emma? You always forget that you’re an open book to me.”_

She woke with a start, sweating as she looked around the dark room. She let out a deep breath and brought her hand up to her face.

Why was she being so shaken up by this? She had a good life, and if she hadn’t heard anything on the news, she’d be in this bed with Graham, having sweet dreams about their lives together.

Killian was her past, Graham was her future. It never would have worked with Killian because he was a criminal. Graham  _upheld_  the law, not broke it. It would have only been a matter of time before Killian would have been caught.

Again.

Taking a deep breath, she crept up to her closet, making sure to be quiet so Graham wouldn’t wake up. When he let out a soft snore, she reached up and grabbed the box she had long forgotten about.

When Graham moved in almost five years ago, he found the box and asked what it was when he was hanging up his sheriff’s uniform. She told him it had things from her past, but that the key was missing, and she was really just keeping it as a memento, even if she could never open it. He accepted that answer, placing it back in the back corner of the top shelf as he put some boxes in front of it.

Being covered and unable to unlock, Emma honestly forgot about it. But now,  _now_ she couldn’t ignore it. She took the box and left the room, shutting the door as quietly as she could so Graham would stay asleep.

She held the box close to her heart as she walked her way down the stairs and to the loose brick in the wall – the one that Graham and Henry didn’t know about. She slowly slid it out and reached her hand in, pushing away cobwebs until her hand covered a single key.

Emma pulled her hand out and put the brick back in the wall before opening the patio door and walking out. She flipped on the lights as she sat on the chair and placed the box on the table.

She took another deep breath – something she’s been doing a lot over the past two days – as she picked up the key and put it into the tiny hole in the side. When she turned it, she heard a “click”, and the top of the box sprung up.

She closed her eyes, as if they would give her the courage to look at pictures she hadn’t seen in nearly ten years. When she finally reached forward, she felt the top picture and brought it up to her face.

She smiled as she looked at a picture of Killian holding Henry on his first birthday. Killian was blowing out the single candle for him while Henry was patting the table. She let out a laugh when she thought of Killian placing a piece of the chocolate cake in Henry’s mouth, and his surprised face at the sudden taste.

But then, Killian gave him another, and Henry’s disgust turned into delight. He then reached forward and stuck his whole hand in the piece they cut for him, picking it up with his chubby hands as he stuffed it into his mouth.

Putting it down, she picked up another picture. It was of her and Henry at the park. She was pushing him in the swings and Henry was laughing. She turned the picture over to see Killian’s beautiful handwriting.  _“Swan and Henry, October 2004.”_  She remembered that day – how Henry was laughing, still unable to use words to describe his excitement. She chuckled as she looked at her contacts and blonde hair – she barely recognized herself in the picture.

There was another one of Henry and Killian together, this one on a boat Killian had “borrowed” for the day. Emma was terrified to go out with Henry that morning because he was so young, but Killian insisted, asking how his boy was supposed to be a little pirate if he didn’t know what going on the ocean was like? She only agreed after they stole a life vest and some floaties, strapping them on her son as tight as they’d go.

She paused at the next photo. It was the three of them having a picnic at the park. Some random stranger must have taken it of the three of them for her, smiling on a blanket on the grass. This had been her favorite picture that she proudly displayed on their dingy apartment’s mantle all those years ago. She rubbed her thumb over the three of them, so happy and young.

The next was of just Killian, smiling at her with his right eyebrow popped up. She wondered what he looked like now. They were 20 when he was caught – a young man in his prime, not even old enough to drink. He’d be nearing 30 now, and she couldn’t help but try to piece together what he might be like.

Would his eyes still twinkle with mischief? Still make the stupid innuendos that would make her roll her eyes, but secretly make her stomach twist in butterflies? Would he still stare at her when he thought she wasn’t looking?

It didn’t help that her mind kept reminding her that they had a whole life planned out together, that they planned a future, for them and Henry. Would she currently be in Maine right now, working as a bails bondsperson? Or would they still be in New Mexico, living in a small apartment with lots of kids, running from place to place to keep from the cops?

She didn’t even realize she was crying until she saw a tear drop onto Killian’s face. She wiped it off, drying the picture and hating that there was now a smudge from where the water hit the ink.

She set down the picture and wiped away her tears, reaching into the box and moving her hand around until she found her wedding ring. It wasn’t big – Killian said he wanted the ring to be a symbol of honesty, and that he refused to steal one for her, that the small diamond was all he could pay for.

And Emma loved it. She wore it proudly, the tiny silver band with the single diamond on it. She slowly slid it on to her ring finger, and it fit just perfectly as before. The added weight didn’t even bother her – it was as if she had never taken it off. She picked up the rest of the photos and went through them quickly until she found their wedding picture.

She was in a simple dress – something she found at a thrift shop that clearly wasn’t a wedding dress, but was at least white. Her veil was merely a cheap crown of flowers, her feet barefoot in the sand at whatever beach they were at.

He was in gray pants, a white shirt, bow tie, and suspenders. She laughed, remembering how he claimed the suspenders were too tight and that she could take them off at any time she’d like while they were dancing.

She sighed as she stacked the photos again, placing them neatly in the “unlockable” box. She slowly slid off the ring and placed it gently at the bottom, closing until she heard the “click” letting her know it couldn’t be opened anymore.

She stood up and meandered back into the house, carefully putting the key back in the correct loose brick and hiding the box in the back corner of the closet. She lifted up the comforter and snuggled her way back into the bed, reaching forward until she was holding onto Graham.

* * *

After her nighttime visit down memory lane, she decided to just leave it all behind, move on with her life. It was easy enough to avoid the news the next day. She never turned on the TV, not the radio. She didn’t even look at the newspaper before dumping it in the recycling.

Killian would never be able to find them, anyway. She was listed as Leia Swan, and Henry as Liam. She was still a brunette with glasses, and he was on parole in Arizona. Her life back then – stealing and barely making ends meet – was not something she wanted again. She had a beautiful home, and wonderful son and boyfriend.

She was able to go back into mom- and girlfriend - mode, and both of her boys seemed to find relief that she was acting like herself again. She walked Henry to school, went grocery shopping, and went about her life as if the news of Killian getting out of prison tomorrow wasn’t something that affects her.

It wasn’t until Graham and Emma were on “date night” that her efforts went downhill.

Once a week, Emma got a babysitter, and Graham and Emma would go out for date night. It was something they started early into their relationship, and she was surprised at how easy it was to keep up since then, only missing a few due to Henry being sick.

“Leia,” Graham said, reaching his hand across the table. “I love you so, so much.”

Emma smiled. “I love you too, Graham.”

Graham grinned back and squeezed her hand. “Remember our first night here? When that poor lad was proposing to his girlfriend, and as he was down on one knee, the waiter tripped on him?”

Emma laughed out loud at that. “Oh, gosh, I think wine came out my nose.”

“And I wiped it away.” Graham said, grinning at the memory. “And I couldn’t help but think what poor luck that young man had, and if I ever got to propose to you, I’d hope it went differently.”

“Poor guy. Do you remember if she said yes?” she asked.

Graham raised and lowered his shoulders. “I don’t know – it was so long ago, I don’t even remember.”

Emma reached forward and took a sip of her drink. “For all we know, they could be happily married with six kids right now.”

Graham laughed, but it was different, something more nervous. “Do you… Do you think  _we’ll_  ever get married?”

Emma paused. She hadn’t really thought about marriage after Killian. It’s not necessarily that she wanted to live in the past, but more that she just didn’t think it was in the cards for her again.

But seeing Graham, with hopeful eyes, she felt like she could,  _maybe_. “I haven’t really thought about it…” She whispered, unable to let out anything more because the conversation turned around so quickly, she didn’t know what was happening. “Do… Do you?”

Graham nods. “I love our lives, and I don’t doubt we’d be together forever if we stay exactly how we are. But, I also believe in marriage, and family, and I just… I don’t bring it up because you haven’t seemed interested, but I just have to know.”

But she couldn’t really answer, because she was still technically Emma Jones. She was still married to  _Killian_. And, if she were to ever consider being Leia Humbert, she had to get divorced, first.

So, instead of giving a straight answer, she settles for, “I love our lives, too.”

* * *

“I have to take a case out of state,” Emma said into the phone as she started packing a suitcase. “It shouldn’t be more than a couple of days, I promise.”

 _“Where are you off to? Massachusetts?”_  Graham asked on the other line.

“Actually, all the way in Arizona. Some guy jumped bail and somehow made it all the way down there without a trace. But I’ve got a pretty good lead, and I think I have a pretty decent shot at catching him.” She was surprised at how easy it was to lie to Graham about this, how she was able to just say this and he believed her without a shred of doubt.

_“When will you be back?”_

“Hopefully this won’t take too long. I’m thinking I’ll be back by Wednesday.”

There was some shuffling in the background, and Emma knew Graham must be doing paperwork at the station if he had enough time to talk to her.

 _“Sorry I’m not able to see you off,”_  Graham replied, and his voice was genuinely apologetic.  _“Does Liam know you’re going?”_

“No, it was so sudden. But, I’m going to stop by the school and say bye before I leave. I’ll see you soon, okay? Sorry this was so last minute.”

_“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. See you soon.”_

* * *

Emma stood outside the gates of Arizona’s minimum-security penitentiary in the hot summer afternoon. It wasn’t until she had stepped outside of the airport that she remembered just how hot it was in that state, or how the temperature was somehow hotter there than Maine, but the air didn’t have the same mugginess.

She rolled up her sleeves, wishing she had put on a tank top before she left in her haste. She wiped her hand across her forehead, wanting nothing more than for Killian to be released already so she could get this on and over with.

She began picking at her fingernails when she heard a loud alarm and the gates rolling up. She looked up from where she was, and that’s when she saw him again.

And it was like her life was rewound ten years.

He was thinner than before, but no less muscular. His hair was a bit longer, and now he had stubble on his chin. He was twisting a prosthetic hand into a brace – that was new – and he looked like there were many more years on his shoulders than what a man his age should ware.

She knew in that moment that she had never stopped loving him.

Killian was beginning to go towards a red car when he made a quick sweep of the land, as if he was memorizing what it felt like to leave that place forever. His head finally turned towards her, and she waved (albeit, shyly).

He continued his scan, obviously not recognizing “Leia Swan”, only to have his head snap back to her when he realized exactly  _who_  was waving at him. He said something to the man who was helping him move out, and then he was running towards her.

She closed her eyes, staying still in her place and leaning against the car, until he stood right in front of her. When she opened her eyes, she truly saw how hard living here must have been for him. He hand too many wrinkles – ones that should only be there after a long lifetime, not ten years.

He stood in awe, as if she was the heavens and earth, as if he couldn’t believe it was really  _her_.

(Which, technically, two days ago, it  _wouldn’t_  have been.)

“Emma,” he breathed, and the name sounded weird, after ten years of being called Leia. But somehow, it sounded right coming out of his mouth, and so she reached forward and pulled him into a big hug. “You waited for me.”

Emma hugged him, not replying. Because how was a girl supposed to tell her husband, the man she promised she’d stay true to while he was away, that she all but forgot about him until his mug shot showed up on the news?

“Hi, Killian.”

* * *

She rented a hotel room, splurging on a nicer one. She drove him there, in silence, letting him hold her hand on the console as he took in everything.

She opened up her room and ushered her in, and just as she was closing the door behind her, he pushed her up towards the door and kissed her.

It was familiar, good, as if they still had been kissing for the past ten years. She knew she shouldn’t be kissing him – especially after what she came to visit him about – but she couldn’t help responding as soon as he mouthed, “Emma…” in between breaths.

“Are you hungry?” she finally asked, when they stopped to regulate their breathing. “I can order us some room service?” She walked over to the nightstand and picked opened the drawer to get the menu. “My treat.” She held it out to him. “Anything you want.”

They ordered their food and sat at the table, waiting for it to arrive. “Where’s Henry?” Killian asked, and she had no doubt that was going to be his first question.

“Back home, in Storybrooke. Want to see him? I have some pictures…”

Killian nodded, and she dug through her purse to find her phone, unlocking it and sliding through the pictures. She looked up briefly to see his confused look, and she chuckled at the thought that when he went into jail, phones were big and clunky, while now they’re smooth and full of light. “It’s an iPhone,” she said, still trying to decide which picture to show him. “It’s kind of like a computer built into a phone.”

Killian’s eyebrows shot up, and Emma bit her lip because Henry did that exact thing, and she didn’t know how she could have forgotten that he got that from Killian. She finally found the picture of him at last year’s science fair. “He got second place,” she said as she passed the phone over to him.

She had never seen anything as precious as Killian looking at Henry. “He’s spectacular,” he whispered, and Emma nodded in agreement. “Is he smart?”

“Best grades in his class – really good at English.”

“And does he have friends?” Killian’s lip began to tremble as he looked at the picture, and she could tell he was completely smitten with the boy he missed out ten years on.

“Loads. He just started middle school a couple days ago. Here,” Emma took the phone back (much to Killian’s protests) until she came to another picture of her and Henry at the beach. “This was two weeks ago.”

Killian smiled at the picture. “I love him so much.”

“Me, too.”

Suddenly, her phone rang, and Killian dropped it to the floor. “What the bloody hell was that?”

Emma laughed as she picked up the phone. “Henry’s calling,” she said, turning the phone around for Killian to see a picture of Henry lighting up the screen. “One second, I should take this.”

Killian nodded, bringing his hand behind his neck and scratching in that single spot behind his ear he always did when he was nervous. (And that was another thing that Henry did that she shouldn’t have forgotten was a tick of Killian’s.)

“Hey Liam, how was school?”

Killian cocked his head, looking confused as Emma mouthed, _“I’ll tell you about it after.”_

“That’s really cool, uh huh… Yeah… That should be fun.” Killian looked more and more confused, only hearing one side of the story. “Did Graham say it was okay?… Then it’s okay with me, too. Yeah. I should be back soon – hopefully by Wednesday.” She saw Killian’s face drop, so Emma turned her back to him before her resolve broke. “Liam, I have to go. Tell Graham hi for me… Love you, too… Bye.”

There was a knock at the door, and Emma went over to get the food they ordered, tipping the hotel worker before she left. She brought it back over and put it on the table, passing out condiments and trays for each of them.

She scrolled through her phone to find another picture of Henry before passing it over. Killian completely ignored his food as he stared at the picture of his son.

“Why’d you call him Liam?” Killian asked, still gazing the picture.

“He thinks that’s his name.” Emma shrugged. “You told us to get new identities for ourselves and to run, so I did.” She took and onion ring and brought it up to her mouth. “He’s known as Liam David Swan.”

Killian grinned and turned back to her. “Swan?” Emma nodded. “And, pray tell, what is your name, Emma?”

Emma’s cheeks turned pink. “Leia.”

“From Star Wars?” he let out a loud laugh and she bit into her ring. “Real original.”

“It was hard to pick a name on the spot!” she defended.

He finally put the phone down and picked up his food. Taking a fry and dipping it into his ketchup, he brought it up to his mouth. “Oh, god. The food.”

“Didn’t like prison food too much?”

Killian shrugged. “After a while, I just kind of got used to it. But having this?” Killian shoved another fry in his mouth. “If I weren’t already going straight for Henry, it will be to keep eating this kind of food.”

Emma laughed as she grabbed a napkin and put it up to his mouth to wipe the ketchup away. “I actually brought you something,” Emma said, standing up and walking over to her suitcase. She dug through it until she found the Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup she bought at the airport and tossed it over to him. “Still your favorite?”

“I don’t know – haven’t had one in ten years.” He made the joke, and he didn’t seem too effected by it as he ripped open the wrapper and stuffed it into his mouth, but something about what he said hit a nerve for her. He leaned back in his chair after taking a bite. “Oh yeah, still my favorite.”

Emma sat back down, taking another onion ring and putting it in her mouth. “How was it in there?”

Killian shrugged as he started on his burger. “At first it was tough, but it got easier over time.” He looked up at her. “You?”

“It was scary in the beginning. I was always worried Henry and I would be caught. But, after a few months, my name and face weren’t around the news anymore, and I was able to slowly integrate into society.”

“How was it raising Henry on your own?”

Emma swallowed hard, coughing at the suddenness of his question. “It was hard to be both a mom and dad at the same time, but I learned, and Graham helped out.”

Killian nodded, totally entranced by his food. “Who’s Graham?” he asked, nonchalantly, not even phased by a man’s name. “A teacher of his?”

“No, he’s the Storybrooke sheriff…” Emma closed her eyes, mustering up all her confidence to say the next part. “And my boyfriend.”

Killian dropped all the food in his hand as his head shot up to her. “What?”

“He’s been there for Henry, Kill. Back when he was five and six and needed a daddy for “father/son day” at school, he went with, even before we were together.” Emma saw his Adam’s apple bobble as he opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out.

“I spent a long time waiting for you, Killian, but then Graham was there, and it sort of, just… happened. He loves Henry like a son, Killian, and he’d never hurt him or me.”

Killian frowned. “What did you tell them about me?” he finally got out. “You did tell Henry he was going to see his dad again, didn’t you?”

Emma slowly shook her head. “He started asking where his daddy was when they made Father’s Day cards in preschool. I told him you died a hero as a fireman saving people from a burning building.”

Killian’s mouth began to tremble again as a sob he clearly didn’t want to come out, did. “Why would you tell him that?”

Emma waved her arms as she tried to rationalize this to him. “I didn’t know if we’d ever see you again! And he thought his name was Liam Swan, and how was I supposed to tell him that you weren’t going to be around if he was alive?”

“No, how were you supposed to tell him that his father was in prison for ten years. _That’s_  why you told him I was dead, so he didn’t know his dad was a criminal.”

“ _Killian…_ ”

“I have spent ten years in there thinking about you guys, thinking of the reunions. And never  _once_  did I believe you’d tell Henry I was dead. How am I… How am I supposed to get to know him now?” Emma drew in a breath, hoping her non-answer would tell him what she was didn’t want to. “You don’t want him to know me.” He murmured, more to himself than anything. “You don’t want him to know you  _lied_  about me.”

Emma felt tears prickling her eyes. “I’m sorry, Killian. I really thought we’d never see each other again… I thought I was going to, to… I thought he should know his father died a hero – which you kind of did. You  _saved_  me and Henry, Killian. We changed our lives around. We’re here and alive and a family because of  _you_.”

“No,  _you’re_  a family. I’m an ex-con who’s stuck in Arizona for the next year and now knows his son doesn’t even know he exists!” The self loathing in his voice was almost too much to bear.

Emma stood up and came over to him. “Killian, please. If you ever want what’s best for him, you have to let us go.” She walked around the room to her suitcase again, picking up a manila folder. “I wasn’t going to give these to you until tomorrow, but I guess now is as good as ever.”

Killian reached over and opened up the folder. “Divorce papers?”

Emma gave a small nod.

“No.”

Emma tilted her head, suddenly confused. “No?”

“No.”

“Killian…”

“One week.”

“What?”

“You and Henry give me one week. If you don’t think I’m best for you guys anymore, if you don’t think I should be in your life, I’ll sign the papers. But I’m not going to do anything until our family is together for a full week.”

Emma sighed. She knew it wasn’t legal for him to do something like this, but if she involved the cops, he could go back to jail, and  _she_  could go to jail, too. “Four days,” she countered.

“Fine. Four days.”


	2. It’s No Secret that the Both of Us Are Running Out of Time

“I’m going to be here a little longer than I thought.”

_“How much longer? We miss you!”_  Graham said, on the other line.

“Next Thursday.”

_“You’ll have been gone a whole week by then! Liam’s already antsy for you to come back.”_

“I know, and I’m sorry. But, there’s no way I can come back sooner.” Emma whispered. She knew Killian wasn’t asleep – that he was listening to every single thing Emma said – but she still tried to have a quiet voice. “My plans have changed, though.”

_“What do you mean?”_

“Well, do you remember how I told you I used to live in Arizona and New Mexico before moving to Storybrooke? Well, I ran into an old friend, and I want Liam to meet him.”

_“Okay… Is he coming back with you on Thursday?”_

“Not exactly.” She started at Killian’s back, breathing softly next to her. “I bought Liam a ticket out here for tomorrow at 10:00, and I need you to bring him to the airport.”

_“Absolutely not! He can’t fly out there alone!”_

“I already talked to the airport staff and I’ve set up a service they have for sending kids on airplanes by themselves. It’s usually for kids flying back and forth for divorced parents, but it will work for him, too.”

_“What about school?”_

“I already emailed his teachers asking for homework for him to do while he’s here.”

_“Leia, I just don’t see why he can’t meet him at a later time… You’re making no sense whatsoever.”_

Emma closed her eyes, knowing that how much Graham cared for Henry was going to be the downfall of this plan. “Graham, this isn’t a negotiation. He needs to come out here tomorrow.”

_“Why? Tell me, Leia. Why is this so important?”_

“Because his father wants to meet him, okay?” The words came out before she could stop them, and she mentally slapped herself.

_“You told me – us – that his father was dead…”_

Emma bit her bottom lip. “I know, and I’m sorry. But he’s not, and I want Liam to finally meet him.”

_“You never went out there for a case, did you? You went out there to see your ex-husband?”_

“Graham, it’s late and… Can we just talk about this later? I’m not in the mood for a fight, especially about this.”

_“Leia, I really don’t feel comfortable sending him alone, especially to see a man that you clearly kept out of his life for a reason. What if something happens?”_  It was quick and to the point, like there was not a single ounce of debate available in the conversation.

Emma had to do the one thing she didn’t want to, the  _one thing_  that could make Graham hate her even more in this moment than she knew he did. But if she ever wanted to divorce Killian, if she ever wanted to move on, she had to do it. “It’s not up to you, Graham. He’s my son, and I want him to meet his father. You’re not his dad – you don’t get to make these kinds of decisions about him.”

There was an uncomfortable silence before he finally mumbled,  _“You’re right.”_

“Can you please not tell Liam that he’s coming here to meet his father? It’s going to be tough enough to introduce them without him thinking about it the whole plane ride over.”

Graham cleared his throat.  _“Uh, sure.”_

“Is he busy right now? Can I talk to him?”

_“Avery’s over, but I’m sure he’ll want to talk. One minute.”_  His voice was off, and she wasn’t quite sure if it was from anger or betrayal, but she tried to push the thought out of her mind.

Killian rolled over to face her, and she was indeed correct that he was wide awake and listening to the entire conversation. “Want me to put it on speaker so you can hear his voice?” She asked. “You’ll have to be quiet, though.”

Killian nodded, pretending to zip his lips like a child.

Emma pressed the speaker button and waited for Henry to answer.

_“Hello? Mom?”_

“Hey, kid.” Emma replied, looking at Killian’s face. After two words, he looked like he had never heard anything more beautiful, and it made her smile, despite the terrible situation. “How was your first day without me?”

_“Long, but Graham let Avery come over for a sleepover, so that’s pretty cool.”_

Killian’s face dropped at the name, but he didn’t comment on it. “Yeah, well you’re going to have to send Avery home a little earlier than a normal sleepover tomorrow.”

_“That’s not fair!”_  He whined, bringing the smile back on Killian’s face.  _“Graham said we could go to Granny’s for breakfast!”_

“This isn’t a discussion, Liam.” Emma said, and she could actually see him roll his eyes in her head. “Look, it’s for a good reason.”

_“Oh yeah? What’s that?”_  There was so much sass in his voice, and she couldn’t believe that he was able to pull off such a tone after only been in middle school for three days.

“You’re coming out to Arizona with me, for the week. Remember how I told you that we lived here when you were a baby? I thought you’d like to visit, since we haven’t been back since.”

_“Are you serious mom?”_  He asked, and his annoyance immediately turned into glee. _“Really?”_

“Yeah. And you’re going to be taking the plane by yourself, so Graham’s going to go over all the rules with you, and there will be some people at the airport that will help you fly, okay? But right now, I need you to go pack. Maybe Avery will even help.”

_“Woo-hoo!”_ Henry shouted in joy.

“Don’t forget your swim suit, okay? It’s going to be a lot hotter here than Maine.”

_“Okay.”_

“And you can only bring three books.”

_“Yeah, yeah, three. Got it. I’m going to go pack right now! See you tomorrow, mom!”_

“Bye, kid. Can you give it back to Graham?”

_“Sure thing.”_

“He’s perfect,” Killian said, reaching over and grabbing her hand. “He’s absolutely wonderful.”

“He’s a real spitfire, that’s for sure.” Emma said just as Graham came back on the phone.

_“I see Liam took the news well.”_

“Yeah, well…”

_“Send me the plane ticket and anything else I need to know, okay?”_

“Yeah, I’ll forward you the email right now.”

_“I love you, Leia_.” Graham’s words were soft, and Emma could hear the pain behind them. But, more importantly, she could feel Killian drop her hand and tense up.

“I love you too, Graham. I’ll see you when Liam and I get back, okay?”

_“Bye_.”

She hung up the phone and turned back to Killian. “Graham seems nice.”

“Killian…”

“No, I get it. I was in prison for ten years. Why did I think you’d keep a promise from when we were just kids?”

Emma reached over and cupped his hand. “I have no doubt that we’d still be together if you never got sent away.”

Killian gave a half smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, well… Life’s a bitch.”

“It sure is.” She agreed.

* * *

“Okay, so I’m going to pick him up at the airport, then we’ll meet you here back at the hotel and we’ll all go out for ice cream, okay?”

Killian nodded and looked like he was going to jump right out of his seat. “I can’t wait. I really can’t wait.”

“Calm down – I can’t have two excited puppies. Henry’s going to be excited to be on vacation enough already without you riling him up.”

Killian laughed. “I’ve just been dreaming of this moment for so long.”

“You do know I’m going to introduce him as Liam, right? I know his name is Henry and that’s what we’ve been calling him for the past 24 hours, but  _he’s_  spent ten years being called Liam. We’re already going to be changing his life forever with you still being alive. Let’s take things one step at a time.”

Killian put his hand and arm up. “Okay, okay. I’ll call him Liam,  _for now_.”

“And I’m Leia.” Killian rolled his eyes, and Emma sighed, not completely satisfied with his answer, but accepting it as she grabbed the rental car’s keys. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Bye, Emma.”

“Bye, Killian.” She was surprised at how normal the name Emma had become, even in such the short amount of time.

The drive to the airport was short, and her leg was bouncing the entire time. She was a complete wreck, worried about how Henry would react to the news.

She felt like she was at the airport too quickly, and before she knew it, Henry was sprinting towards here with a backpack swinging up and down. “Mom!” Henry yelled as he ran into her arms. “I can’t believe you let me do that!”

Emma squeezed him tight. “Yeah, well, I needed you here with me. But don’t get too excited. I emailed your teachers this morning and they’re going to send me your homework to do while you’re here.”

“Moooooooooooom!” Henry let go. “Why would you do that? This is supposed to be a vacation!”

Emma smiled. “I’m a mom first, a fun tour guide second. Now, let’s go get your suitcase from luggage and then we’ll drop it off at the hotel and get ice cream.”

Henry’s eyes lit up at the word, slightly jumping in his spot as the two of them walked towards baggage claim.

* * *

“Do I get to watch you catch a perp?” Henry asked with extra enthusiasm in their drive back to the hotel. “That would be so cool mom!”

“No, but I do want you to meet someone.”

“Yeah? Who?”

Emma stared at the road, ignoring his question. “How do you like the weather here?”

“I read about it in geography books, but it’s a lot hotter than I thought! I’m glad we didn’t just live here for the past ten years! I’d die in the summer!”

Emma smiled. “Yeah, well Storybrooke can get a bit hot, too, you know.”

Henry rolled his eyes as they pulled into the hotel parking lot. “Yeah, but this is, like, super hot.” Emma laughed as they parked and she went to the trunk to grab his suitcase.

She brought him to the elevators at up to their room. “Now, Liam,” she began. “There’s a man in there I want you to meet. He might want to hug you and get a little emotional, and that’s okay. As your mom, I’m telling you that this man is safe to be around.”

Henry rolled his eyes. “I’m not a kid, anymore. I know what a stranger is.”

Emma bit her bottom lip before slipping the key card into the lock and waiting for it to beep. As soon as it did, Emma pushed the door open, and the two walked in.

Killian had been sitting on the bed, reading a book he must have found in the dresser drawer when they came in. His head shot up and his eyes went straight to Henry’s and, just like she imagined, his eyes immediately began to water. “Swan, he’s beautiful.” Killian jumped up, completely abandoning the book as he ran over to them, still in the doorway.

He stood for a few seconds before reaching forward and bringing Henry into a big hug. “I’ve missed you so much, lad.”

Henry stood still, eying his mom underneath Killian’s arms. He finally brought his arms around the man and patted his back. “Uh, you, too. Have we met?”

Killian pulled back, wiping his eyes with his handless-arm. Henry’s eyes opened slightly before trying to hide his surprise. “A long, long time ago, back when you lived here.”

“Liam, this is Killian. Killian, Liam.” Emma said, and watching the reunion was one of the sweetest things she’s ever seen. Even with Henry’s hesitant glances towards her, it was absolutely perfect, a moment she was going to remember forever.

“Ice cream!” Emma began, and both boys turned towards her. “Killian, are you in a state that you could come with us for ice cream?”

“I’m not leaving your sides for the next four days, Emma.” He gave another look to Henry before going back to the bed and grabbing his jacket.

Henry placed his backpack and suitcase by the chair before walking over to Emma and motioning for her to come closer. “Who is he?” he asked. “I feel like I’ve seen him before.”

Emma stood back up. “We’ll talk about it at the ice cream shop.”

* * *

Henry shifted in his seat next to Emma. Killian had been staring at him non stop since their initial meeting in the hotel room, and Emma could tell it was making him uncomfortable. Under the table, Emma kicked Killian’s shin. “Ow!”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Killian, you’re creeping him out.”

Henry took a scoop of his ice cream before finally sitting up straight in his chair. “Okay, will someone tell me who he is and why he’s so excited to see me?”

Emma took a deep breath and turned to face Killian. “Um… He’s, uh… Kill?”

Killian looked at Emma before shifting to look at their son. “Hen—Liam, I’m your father.”

Henry shook his head. “No, my father’s dead. He died, trying to save people out of a burning building.” In a panicked state, he turned to look at Emma. “That’s what you told me, that he was a hero.”

“He was,  _is_ , Liam. It’s just, I wasn’t exactly telling the truth. You see, Killian had to go away for a while, and we couldn’t be together anymore. And, I didn’t know if we’d ever meet each other again, so I thought… He really is a hero, Liam. He saved us when you were just a baby.”

Henry jumped up. “You’re lying.” He threw down his spoon and ran over to the bathrooms, quickly going into the boys’ one.

“Well, that could have gone better,” Emma muttered.

Killian stood up. “How did you think this was going to go? He’s thought his dad was dead his whole life.”

“Where are you going?” Emma asked as he began to turn around.

“To go talk to my son,” he responded. “I’ve waited for this moment for ten years, I’m not going to waste any more time.”

Emma slumped down in her seat, bringing another bite of chocolate ice cream up to her mouth. The sweet cold treat tasted bitter, and she pushed it away from herself. She couldn’t help the tears that were forming in her eyes. Killian was right, this wasn’t what their reunion was supposed to be like, and giving them space to talk would be the best thing for Henry.

It was a while before they came back out, but eventually, the two started walking back. Henry was smiling up at whatever Killian had just said, and Killian had his hand resting on his shoulder. “All better?”

Henry’s face dropped when he saw her, but then he looked back up at Killian. “Yeah, it’s kind of cool to find out you had a dad after thinking you didn’t.”

Emma smiled as they sat down together. “I’m glad you’re getting along.”

Killian gave Emma a small grin before turning back to his son. “We’re just going to have to make up for lost time.”

Henry nodded his head eagerly as he began scooping the melted ice cream into his mouth. “Killian said we used to go sailing when I was a kid? And he said, if it’s okay with you, the three of us could go this week.”

“Yeah… Yeah, we could do that.” Emma’s eyes went straight to Killian’s. “We’ll have to find a rental place and maybe then we go out tomorrow, or something.”

Killian scratched behind his ear. “What do you guys want to do tonight?”

“Well, what’s there to do in Arizona? You know, besides it being super hot?”

Killian laughed. “There’s lots to do, boy.” He reached over and rubbed his hand through Killian’s hair. “But first, I think we should go back to the hotel and get to know each other. Sound like a plan?”

Henry took a last spoonful as he nodded. “Come on, let’s go!”

* * *

Henry was sitting at the table, reading one of the adventure novels he brought from Storybrooke while Emma and Killian talked.

“He’s even better than I imagined.” He reached forward and punched her shoulder. “You did well, love.”

“Thanks, but I can’t take the credit. That’s all him.” Emma looked at her son. “He seems to have taken to you well, you know, after the initial meeting.”

“I see a lot of myself in him, besides the whole criminal thing.”

“Did you tell him?”

“Not yet… Don’t know how to, really.”

Emma nodded in agreement as she took a sip of her Sprite. “I can’t believe he’s actually meeting you.”

Killian grinned. “Me neither. It’s a dream come true.” Killian looked back over at Henry, and Emma had never seen more love in his eyes.

It was something Emma always knew about Killian – he was able to love others with all of his heart. She remembered what it was like to have someone feel that deeply about her.

Graham feels that way about her and Henry, too. But, it’s just  _different_  than what it was like with Killian. Maybe it was because she could see that Killian appreciates it more, because everything he loved had been taken from him, and suddenly he was given a second chance. Maybe it was just she hadn’t seen him in so long that she’d forgotten what it looked like.

“Is that alright, love?” Killian asked.

Emma snapped out of whatever trance she was in. “What?”

“I was just saying that you and Henry could take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Even though Emma was going to make him do so anyway, it was just a reminder that he always put Henry and her first. Memories of that night ten years ago flooded her brain, how he was willing to take the downfall for her.

“You okay there, Emma?”

Emma nodded her head. “Just a little tired.” She stood up and walked over to Henry. “You’re bunking with me, kid. I’m calling it a night, though, so I’ll be in bed if you need me.”

“Okay, okay,” Henry said, turning the page.

Emma went back over by Killian. “He had a long day. Make sure he doesn’t stay up too late tonight, okay?”

“Absolutely,” he replied. He stared right into her eyes, as if reading every single thing that has happened to her in the past ten years that she missed. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

* * *

Emma woke up with a big kick to her shin. As she turned over, she saw Henry with a book open on his chest – he must have fallen asleep while reading the night before. Making sure to keep the book open to his spot, she gently took it out of his hand and placed it on the nightstand next to him.

Grabbing her phone, she slid out of the bed and walked out of the bedroom to the main living room. She saw Killian sitting outside on the patio and padded over to the sliding door, opening it up and slipping out to sit next to him.

“That’s new,” Killian said, smiling at her and gesturing his only hand towards the vacant chair next to him.

“What’s new?”

“Well, I’ve never seen you wake up before 8:00 in my life, and it’s barely 7:00 right now.”

Emma rolled her eyes as she settled into the chair. “Whatever.”

“It’s absolutely true, love!”

Emma reached into her pocket and took out her phone. “It would be 9:00 if we were in Storybrooke.”

“Ah, so nothing’s changed.”

Emma couldn’t help her second eye roll of the day, even if it was mere seconds later. Her eyes zeroed in to a small rectangle held in his hand. “What’s that?” She asked, straining her neck to see what he had in his hand.

“It’s what got me through my time in jail,” he admitted, passing it over to her as she sat in the chair next to him. She smiled when she saw what it was – a photograph of her and Henry on the day he was born.

“How did you have this in there?”

“It was in my wallet when I was taken in, and they let me keep it on the wall of my cell. I never put it up, though. I was too afraid someone might take it from me.”

“Why would you think they’d take it from you?”

Killian gave Emma a hard look. “I didn’t fancy my time in prison, love. I’d prefer not to draw up unwarranted memories.”

“Sorry.” Emma looked back down at the picture. They were sitting in the back seat of her yellow bug. She remembered how Killian had told her how he put the car seat in safely, that she’d be much more comfortable in the front seat after just giving birth. But she refused, insisting that the back seat was fine. Before she knew what was going on, he had taken a shot of her looking adoringly at her son. “What’s on the agenda today, Captain?”

Killian took the photo back, smiling at it as he rubbed his hand over her and their son’s faces. “There’s a drive in down the road. I was thinking we could see their showing of Peter Pan tonight, perhaps go to that Chinese restaurant we always used to go to before the movie.”

“I think Henry’ll love it.” Emma replied, looking out to face the mountains from the patio.

“And you?” Killian’s voice was hopeful, and Emma slowly turned her head back to face him.

Emma gave a soft smile. “I know exactly what you’re doing, Killian.”

Feigning innocence, Killian drew in a breath. “Who, me? What ever could you be talking about?”

“Do you really think I don’t remember the first night we met? Driving the stolen car up to the movie, eating Chinese food with the $10 you had pickpocketed, and just watching the screen because we spent all our money on Cream Cheese Wantons?” Emma reached her arm over and stood up, walking back towards the sliding door. “It may have been well over twelve years ago, but I certainly haven’t forgotten.”

Just as she was closing the door, she could have sworn she heard a small mutter coming from Killian’s direction. “It just seems like you needed reminding…”

She watched him pick the picture back up and stare at it. It was so faded and worn by now that it was a mystery he could even make out their features, but he held onto the picture like his life depended on it.

Emma slid into the room to find Henry rubbing his eyes. “Where’s Killian?” he asked, and Emma pointed onto the patio.

“He’s just outside. Believe me, kid, he’s not going anywhere for the rest of our trip.”

Henry walked over to the table and slumped in one of the chairs. “Is he coming to Storybrooke with us?”

His voice was so hopeful, and Emma hated the idea that she was going to burst his bubble. “Unfortunately, no. He has to stay here in Arizona.”

Henry pouted. “I want him to come back with us, though. I missed out on having a father. I don’t want to lose any more time!”

Emma went over to her son and placed a hand on his shoulders. “You’ve had Graham. I’m sure Killian’s thankful to know he’s back in Storybrooke to take care of you.” It wasn’t a total lie – she was positive that Killian was happy that they found someone who could protect them for all these years.

He just didn’t like the idea that Emma had fallen in love with him and was preparing to leave him in that time.

“I know I’ve had Graham since I was a kid, but he’s not my dad, you know?” Henry looked up at her with that look Killian gave her when he knew her resolve was being chipped away. “It’s different, and I don’t want to give it up so quickly.”

Emma patted his back. “Well, there is a man out on that patio that wants to spend the next three days getting to know you. I suggest you go out there and make the best of it before we leave Wednesday morning.”

Henry’s smile faded as he stood up and walked to the door. He slid it open and stepped out onto the patio. She couldn’t hear what he was saying, but something Killian said back made him laugh out loud as he took the seat that Emma had just vacated.

* * *

“Storybrooke doesn’t have a drive in! This is so cool, Killian!” Henry was nearly bouncing in his seat as they pulled into the vacant spot at the drive in. “Isn’t it cool, Mom?”

Emma smiled as she parked. “Definitely,” Emma replied, as enthusiastically as she could. “You know, Killian and I used to go to drive-ins all the time when we lived here.”

Henry unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned forward so his head was right between Killian and Emma’s. “Really?”

“It’s true, lad.” Killian unbuckled his seat and put his only hand on the car door. “Now, what can I get you guys? Does the lady still prefer Milk Duds?” Emma agreed, wondering how Killian could remember something like that after all these years. “Liam? What would you like?”

“Popcorn with lots and lots of butter!” Henry then turned to Emma. “Can I go with Killian to get our stuff?”

“Sure, kid.” Emma dug around her purse for a $20. “This should be enough for everything. Killian?”

“Yes, love?”

(And she would never admit to her stomach  _still_  fluttering at the sentiment…)

“Don’t let him put too much butter on his popcorn. Last time, he put so much, it soaked right through the bag and stained his pants.”

“Moooom! Stop embarrassing me!” Henry whined before turning to his father. “She’s making it out to be worse than it was.”

Killian merely laughed. “Alright, not too much butter,” he agreed, but Emma could have sworn he still winked at their son.

They got out of the car and walked off toward the concession stand, talking about god knows what on the way there.

She let out a deep breath, digging into her phone and taking it out. She dialed Graham’s number, desperate to talk to him again.

_“Hello?”_

“I miss you.”

There was a sigh on his end.  _“I miss you, too. This apartment is too big without you both here.”_

“We’ll be back soon.” It was silent for a moment, and Emma could almost feel the tension through the phone. “Graham? You still there?”

_“Why did you tell me he was dead?”_  He blurted out.

“It’s… complicated.”

_“I just keep roaming our house, trying to figure out why you’d lie about something like that. If you moved here while he was still there, clearly there were no feelings left in that relationship. I just can’t figure out why you’d lie.”_

“I really wish I had an answer to give you, but I don’t.”

_“Did he hurt you?”_

“He’d never lay a finger on me.”

_“Emotionally?”_

“No.”

_“Then why?”_

It was Emma’s turn to sigh. “I guess, I just didn’t see a life with him anymore. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again, and I wanted to move on.”

_“You don’t have to say someone’s dead to move on…”_

“Like I said, Graham. It’s complicated.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Killian and Henry laughing as they walked back. “I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

_“Okay.”_

“I love you.”

_“I love you, too. Tell Liam I say hi.”_

“I will. Bye,” Emma took the phone away from her ear and clicked the “end” button. She hated the mess she had been thrown into, but she tucked it away in the back corner of her mind as she reached across the console to open the door for Killian and Henry. “I wasn’t aware large sodas were in the order?”

 “We have a smart lad, Swan. He gave numerous reasons as to why a large Coke with three straws was much better than three bottled waters.” Henry smiled as he placed all the candy in the backseat.

“We’re not going to all fit in the front seat…” Henry noted, looking in between his parents.

“You and Killian can sit on the roof. I’m fine in here,” she replied, adjusting the front seat until it was slightly reclined.

“Absolutely not,” Killian walked around the car until he could pull her door open. “The hood is plenty big for the three of us.” He grabbed her hand and brought her out of the car. “Up on three, one, two…” And, before he reached three, he placed his hands on her waist, giving her a slight wink before lifting her onto the car.

“Cool!” Henry yelled as he went straight to the front and climbed onto the car and settled in right next to Emma. Killian chuckled as he put all the food in front of them, grabbed a blanket from the back seat, and hoisted himself up next to Henry and Emma.

“This was my favorite movie as a child,” Killian said as he reached for the milk duds and passed it over to Emma, pulling the popcorn up and placing it next to Henry.

“Mine, too!” Henry smiled with glee. “Peter Pan is so cool!”

“I’m more of a Hook fan, meself.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “I thought you were a fan of Tinkerbelle? You encouraged me to wear that costume to that couples party in 2002.” She lifted an eyebrow as she popped in a single Milk Dud.

“I was Captain Hook, if you remember, darling,” Killian licked his lips. “And, I was much more a fan of the woman  _in_  the dress than the particular character.”

“Gross,” Henry said, reaching for a handful of popcorn. “Why would she even go as Tinkerbelle? Her brown hair screams more Wendy, to me.”

Both Emma and Killian’s faces stilled at his sentence. She was really blonde – she’d just been dying it for the past ten years. Instead of acknowledging his comment, Killian pointed to the screen. “It looks like it’s about to start.”

Henry settled in between Killian and Emma, and she couldn’t help but wonder if this is what their life would be like on a regular basis if he hadn’t gotten locked up. The three of them going to movies, cuddled together, joking and making their son blush with Killian’s comments on Emma’s attractiveness.

Well, it was a moot point. Maybe she and Graham weren’t as openly flirtatious as she and Killian always were, but they were still a family. The three of them might not cuddle on the couch, per se, but they had breakfast and dinner together almost every night.

The movie started at 8:30 in Arizona, which meant it was 10:30 in Storybrooke, and that Henry was out by the time the Darlings’ made it to Neverland. “Do you want to stay or go back to the hotel?” Killian asked, causing Emma to even realize that Henry was sleeping.

Emma looked up at the screen quickly before settling back into the car. “We haven’t even gotten to the good part.” She turned and smiled at him. “We could stay a little longer, if you want to…”

“I’d like that,” Killian nodded, turning back to the movie.

Emma kept stealing looks at Killian. Sometimes, he’d notice her staring at him, creating a deep tension as they looked into each other’s eyes. She’d forgotten how deep they were, forgotten how she could see every single thought going through his mind by just looking at his face.

She’d quickly go back to the screen whenever their eyes locked.

It was only when Emma’s eyes started to droop that Killian reached over and touched her. “Emma, love, we should get back to the hotel.” She slowly opened her eyes as she agreed.

She put her hand on Henry’s shoulder and gently shaking him. “Liam,” she whispered, trying to wake up their son. “Liam, we need to get back to the hotel.”

Henry grunted before turning to Killian and snuggling in deeper, keeping his eyes shut tight.

“Liam,” she said, a little louder this time.

“Not yet,” Henry replied.

Killian smiled down at Henry and pulled him in tighter as Emma continued to wake him up. “You’ve been sleeping for nearly an hour, Liam. You’ll be much more comfortable in a bed.”

“Do we have to go, Dad?” Henry breathed as he kept his position tucked into Killian’s side.

Killian froze, looking down at Henry. She’d seen that look only once before, and in that moment, she was hit with the memory.

                                                           —

_“Emma, love, you can do this!” Killian squeezed Emma’s hand a little tighter._

_“I can’t, Killian. It hurts, it hurts so much,” she sobbed, shaking her head as tears came out of her eyes._

_He reached his stump across the bed to wipe the hair out of her eyes. “Yes you can, you know why?” Emma shook her head, closing her eyes and biting her bottom lip. “Because you’re Emma Jones, and you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met.”_

_“You think so,” she groaned out._

_Killian kissed her forehead. “No. I know so. Now, I think it’s time we call the doctor in.”_

_Emma nodded, keeping her eyes squeezed shut while she brought her hand up to the bar to call the nurses station._

_The rest of Henry’s birth was mostly a blur. She knew she had nearly broken Killian’s only hand at one point, but when Henry was cleaned up and given to Killian that everything came back into focus._

_“Congratulations,” the doctor said. “Here’s your perfectly healthy boy.”_

_Emma opened her eyes to see Killian looking down at their son, love and adoration in his stare. His expression was one of shock as he walked over to Emma, sitting down in the chair next to her bed._

_The doctors and nurses left, leaving Killian and Emma alone with the newborn. Killian finally looked back at Emma, slowly moving his head back. “We have a son, Killian. You’re a daddy.” Her voice was hoarse, but she still got the words out._

_Killian looked back at Henry. “I’m a dad,” he said. “You’re a mom, and I’m a dad.”_

_Emma smiled as she watched the realization dawn on him. Yes, they knew for the past nine months that they were going to be parents, but it wasn’t until this moment that it registered with both of them that she was a mom, and he was a dad._

* * *

“Can we go to the pool, Killian? Please, pleaseeee?” Henry begged, looking at Killian with the biggest puppy eyes Emma had ever seen.

He shook his head as he said, “Not yet, lad. You’ve got homework.”

“Did Mom make you say that?” Henry asked, rolling his eyes as he turned to look at Emma. “C’mon, Mom! I’m on vacation! Why are you making me do homework?”

Killian laughed as Emma held up her hands in defeat. “Wasn’t me, kid. This is all Killian.”

Henry looked back at Killian. “But I don’t want to do homework! I want to go to the pool and go down the waterslides.”

“I’ll make you a deal, Liam,” Killian started, and Henry immediately perked up. “I’ll help you with your homework this morning, and then we’ll all go to the pool this afternoon. Deal?”

Henry let out a huff as he crossed over to the table in the room. “Fine. But we’re getting some Choco Tacos from the snack bar while we’re there.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Killian walked over to the chair next to Henry and plopped down, looking at the screen. “So, what homework do you have?”

“It looks like Mr. Gold responded with… THREE PAGES OF MATH?” Henry turned back to Killian. “Come  _on_ , Killian. This is ridiculous!”

“The sooner you stop arguing, the sooner we’ll get those chocolate tacos.” Killian pointed out, leaning in towards the screen.

Henry let out a grunt as he leaned in closer, too, grabbing a pencil and the paper Emma had bought the night before.

Emma went and sat on the bed, watching Henry and Killian work together. It was cute, if she were being honest. Killian using his fingers and drawing diagrams to help Henry understand the word problems he was doing.

Graham has helped Henry with his math most of the time, since Emma never even finished high school. But it was different, seeing Killian help Henry. Maybe it was because they looked so similar doing it, like a father helping his son, or maybe it was how Killian’s eyes perk up when Henry got the right answer, but there was something about how he was helping him that took a needle and prodded her heart.

She grabbed her phone and took a quick snapshot of Killian and Henry both leaning over the table and smiled as she put it as her iPhone background.

* * *

Killian helped a sleepy Henry settle into bed before walking over to Emma, gesturing with his head to go outside. Emma slid the patio door open, and together, they went outside into the cool Arizona air.

“The pool really tired him out,” Emma noted as she sat down in the chair she had sat in the previous morning.

Killian chuckled as he sat down in his chair. “I don’t think the junk food or sun helped too much. Plus, climbing those stairs to the waterslides over and over again, it’s a wonder he made it this late.”

“Look at you, already figuring out parenthood after two days.” Killian’s smile faded as he looked out at the mountains. There was a strained silence, and Emma wished she could take back her words. “I didn’t mean…”

“No, you’re right. I suppose I don’t know what it means to be a father,” Killian’s voice was off, faded, and the words were so quiet, she could barely hear them. “Who am I kidding, two years with a baby and then two days with a twelve year old doesn’t exactly make me parent of the year.”

“Killian…”

He shrugged, as if trying to brush it off, but it was like something had snapped in him. Emma could see his defeat, self-hatred, and she could tell it was a moment that she wasn’t going to be able to convince him out of this sadness.

“Do you think… Do you think we’d still be married if I never went to prison?” It was quiet, as if he was treading the topic lightly.

“Technically, we are still married.” Emma reached her hand over and held his stump.

“You know what I mean,” Killian said, turning to face her. His eyes were becoming red, his lip pouted.

Seeing Killian cry was one of the things Emma had hated most ten years ago, and there wasn’t anything that changed it now. He was such a confident man, always sure of everything, that whenever he broke down, it crushed her.

“I don’t know, maybe.” Emma said, trying to soothe him. “I think we’d probably have a couple more kids.”

“You think?”

Emma nodded. “But Killian, even you have to admit this wouldn’t have been a good life for us. We were criminals, and we were always on the run. What kind of life would that have been for Henry?”

“I can’t believe I only have two more days with him before I lose him forever.”

Emma shook her head. “You’re not going to lose him, Killian. Now that Henry’s met you, there’s no way he’s going to let you out of his life. He has too big of heart for that.”

“Maybe.” She saw him take in a deep breath, trying to calm his breathing. “But don’t forget, I’m also losing you, Emma.”

“Now that you’re in Henry’s life, you’re going to have to be in mine, too.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Killian stood up and went to stand by the railings.

Emma followed him, taking the few steps it took to stand right next to him. “What do you mean, then?”

Killian slowly brought his face until they were looking at each other. “How am I supposed to look at you, and not run my hand through your hair?” He asked, reaching his only hand up and barely touching the brown curl at the bottom. “How am I supposed to look into those green eyes,” He brought his hand up to her glasses and took them off, shutting them and placing them on the ledge. “And not get lost in them?”

“Killian…” It was supposed to be a warning, but it sounded more breathless than it should have.

“How am I supposed to see you kiss another man, knowing that my lips are the ones you should be kissing?” He was too close, it was making her mind go numb and, as if he knew what he was doing to her, he continued on. “How am I supposed to look at you and not imagine all that we had, what we  _could_  have now?”

“You make it seem like it’s easy for me, Killian.”

“Isn’t it?”

She looked at his face up and down, bringing her thumb up to wipe away the water that began seeping from his eye. “No.” With the simple confession, she grabbed her glasses and turned around, putting them on as she walked into their hotel room. “Goodnight, Killian.”

She heard a breath as he whispered, “Goodnight, Emma.”


	3. I’m In California Dreaming About Who We Used To Be

There was an awkwardness between Emma and Killian, and she knew Henry felt it. She also noticed that Henry was getting more and more attached to Killian at the hip, following him around and asking him questions about his childhood.

Emma was thankful Henry never asked where Killian was those ten years. She had a feeling her son knew there was something they weren’t telling him, but she also knew her son was sensitive enough to know whether it was something he should bring up or not.

“Mom says you used to take me sailing?” Henry asked as he followed Killian to the table as Killian began packing lunch and dinner for the boat ride they were taking.

“The three of us used to go to the marina and sail for hours in the afternoon.”

“Really?” Henry turned to Emma. “Mom! Why haven’t you taken me sailing since?”

Her eyes darted to Killian’s quickly before focusing back on Henry. “You know there’s nowhere we could sail in Storybrooke.”

“That’s not true! There are boats to rent by the docks. Why haven’t you ever taken me?”

Emma swallowed before walking over and grabbing the sunscreen. “It’s too cold to go sailing for nine months of the year, anyway.” She refused to admit that at the beginning, it was because she couldn’t bring herself to be around anything that reminded of her of Killian, and then it sort of became a habit to stay clear of the docks. “Besides, I don’t really know how to sail. That’s all your father.”

“Oh, believe me, lad, she was my best first mate,” he joked, even if it didn’t quite reach his eyes, a sadness in his voice only she could hear. “I’d choose her to be by my side in a thousand lifetimes.”

The double meaning wasn’t lost on Emma, and so she swallowed, turning away from him to find something to do – or, at least not to let him see how he  _still_  affected her.

“Are you a good sailor, Killian?”

Killian gave Henry one of his award winning smiles. “The absolute best. You’ll have nothing to fear with me as your faithful captain.”

 Henry rolled his eyes, but stood with his back to Emma while she began spraying some sunscreen on his back. “Do I have to wear a life vest?”

“Yes.” Emma and Killian said in unison.

Henry frowned. “Why? If you’re as good as you say, I have nothing to worry about!”

“Because even though I’m the best captain around, the water is not always as kind.” Killian said. “Don’t worry, your mother and I will have ours on, too.”

The three left the hotel room and made their way to Emma’s car, hopping in and driving the short way to Mist Haven Marina and rented the boat for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

Like the captain Killian always was, he brought their boat onto the lake, taking them out like it was the easiest thing in the world. It surprised Emma, how quickly Killian was able to get out, since there was no chance he was able to sail when he was in prison. But, as he was by the helm sailing the ship away from shore, Emma couldn’t help her mind drifting to all the afternoons they spent on the sea.

Henry was smiling the entire time, running from each side of the boat to the other and looking out at the water. Sailing was natural for him – of course it was. Water was in Killian’s blood, and he clearly passed it on to Henry. Killian even said, all those years ago, that if he could do everything over again, he would have joined the Navy and worked his way up.

But he didn’t, and he went to jail.

Emma shook her head as she tried to ignore the thoughts, instead focusing on her son’s happiness – the glee in his voice something she hadn’t heard for a very long time. Killian always had a way of getting people to let go, to make them the child they were. He’d done it with Emma every day they had spent together. Even in some of these moments, with their son, she would forget that she had responsibilities and a life back at home, making her stay in the here and now.

The afternoon went by in a blur. There was laughing – a lot of laughing – and, after Killian stopped the ship and let them just drift with the waves, everything became normal again. They had lunch, went fishing, took pictures, and merely enjoyed the moment.

But, the afternoon drifted to the evening, and after they finished their dinner, they lied on the deck and went stargazing. Killian pointed to all the constellations, teaching Henry about the North Star and the different constellations and the mythology behind all of it.

Emma let her mind drift with the words. She even closed her eyes for a few minutes, before snapping them open as soon as she heard what Killian was beginning to say.

“And over there, you see those six stars? That’s Cygnus. It’s a swan and it soars high in the summer.”

“Like our last name!” Henry replied with a huge smile.

“I actually nicknamed Emma after that star.” He continued, still pointing to the stars that made up the Swan.

Henry bunched his face in confusion. “Who’s Emma?”

She knew Killian realized he had let something slip, and his eyes darted to Emma’s before slowly answering his question. “It’s someone I knew from long ago.” He turned back to Henry. “Someone I have long lost.”

“Where did she go? Why did she leave?”

“Sometimes things aren’t meant to be, and we were young,  _foolish_.”

Emma’s chest hurt, but she stayed exactly where she was for the half-hour it took Henry to fall asleep. As soon as she determined that the soft in-and-out breaths of her son were from sleep, she got up and walked over to the edge of the boat, sitting on the bench and looking out into the ocean.

He didn’t say anything, but Killian had walked over and sat next to her – the only reason she knew he was by her was because she felt the seat dip. He didn’t try to put his arm around her – like he would ten years ago – and he didn’t try to comfort her. He merely placed his body next to hers and waited for her next move.

Finally, she snapped, turning around and pushing his chest. “Why the hell did you call me Emma in front of Henry?”

“It was a slip of the tongue, love. He didn’t realize I was talking about you, anyway.”

“But what if he  _did_? How would we explain that?”

“But he  _didn’t_ , Emma! He’s no wiser now than before that your name is not Leia, and his Liam. You’ve…” He paused, taking a breath. “ _We’ve_  nothing to worry about.”

Emma looked over at their son, letting out a long sigh, the anger slowly slipping away, her entire being filling with sadness. “I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you.”

“Ten years is a long time, love – it would be foolish to think you wouldn’t try to move on and build a better life for you and Henry.”

“But that’s the thing, Killian.” And, out of nowhere, her voice cracked, and she could barely get the words out as she pressed on through her cries. “If everything was opposite, if I were the one to go to jail and you raised Henry by yourself, I know that you would have waited those ten years for me, or fifteen, or  _twenty_ , if that’s how long my sentence was.” She put her hand up to her eyes to attempt to hide the tears that were begging to spill over.

Killian looked down and his hand and slowly moved it towards Emma to take it in his hand. She welcomed his fingers, lacing them together in a familiar way. He didn’t say a word, proving to Emma that he, indeed, would have waited for her.

“Your silence speaks volumes, Killian.”

Killian quickly shook his head and closed the small distance between them, until their bodies were nearly connected from head to toe. “I’m not thinking that, love. All  _I’m_ thinking about is what I can do to wipe those bloody thoughts from your mind.”

“You’re trying to tell me you wouldn’t have waited for me?”

“I’m trying to tell you that you’re not a bad person because you didn’t.”

They adjusted on the sit until they were both resting their backs against the railing, Killian’s bad arm draped over Emma’s shoulder, their hands laced across their body. Emma rested her head on Killian’s shoulder as they sat in the sweet silence of the sea, looking at the sky.

“You never told me you named me after that constellation.”

She felt Killian’s sad smile against her head. “Do you remember the first time I called you it?”

“No.”

“It was the night of our first kiss. We were sitting on the beach watching a meteor shower, but you were much more interested in looking at the stars in the sky.” He pulled her in closer. “I tried to tell you we could look at the stars any old night—”

“But I said that it didn’t make them any less beautiful that night. Yeah, I remember that night, too.”

“Well, we spent the night looking at the constellations instead of the shower, and it was after I pointed out Cygnus that you kissed me.” She felt him shrug underneath him, “So I began calling you “Swan”. It just felt right.”

Emma took a deep breath. He smelled exactly the same as she remembered, being on the lake enhancing the memories of every moment they spent together. “I remember that night a little differently.”

“Oh?”

Emma nodded her head. “It was the first time I had ever seen you dumbstruck.” She teased, imagining his young face from over 14 years ago – how he brought his fingers up to his mouth and just stared at her in shock.

“It was a hell of a kiss,” he joined in her laughter. When it died down, he let out a small sigh. “It was the night I knew I never wanted to kiss anyone else again.”

Emma sank even further into his embrace, determined not to look at him. “Please tell me you’ll move on, Killian. I need to know you will be happy.”

There was no response.

She lifted herself away from him, grabbing his hand and pulling it up and over her head and backing away. She opened her mouth to ask him again, but he was faster, surging forward until the two of them became one.

And, instead of backing up like she should have, she gave in, tilting her head to the right to deepen the kiss. She closed her eyes, letting herself relax into the moment and remind herself of how good this used to be. He brought his hand up to cup the back of head, and she brought hers to his collar, her knuckles turning white from the intensity of her grip.

Her heart began to race, and she needed to remember to breathe. And, while she was able to pull back, it wasn’t for long. As soon as she felt their breaths dance, she leaned forward, licking his bottom lip, as if asking for the entrance that he eagerly allowed.

It certainly wasn’t their first kiss, or even their first kiss of the weekend, but it felt like it because she had gone so long without the feeling of his lips on her own – the one in the hotel room merely a ghost of the rawness of this one.

She pulled back from him, bringing the back of her hand up to her lip to wipe away any residue left there, trying to control her breathing as she came back down from the high. “I think…”

“Anything,” he said as he leaned in forward – not touching her lips, yet, as if waiting for her to settle again.

“I think you should take us back,” Emma replied, leaning away from him and standing up, hugging herself and backing up. “I think… I think we need to—”

He stood up and was by her not even a second later. “Tell me you don’t feel anything, and I’ll turn this ship around. Tell me that you don’t want to be with me anymore and I’ll spend the last day with my son without any obligations from you. Tell me that it’s over and I’ll sign the damn papers when we get back.” He reached forward to place his arms on each of hers. “Tell me that you truly don’t want  _us_ , and I’ll move on.”

Emma’s bottom lip began to tremble as she looked at him, shaking her head. “I’ll always love you, Killian, but sometimes that’s not enough.”

“Why? Why isn’t it enough? It was before!” He brought his hand and stump up to her face. “I love you, Emma Jones. Why don’t you see that you do, too?”

She brought her hands up to hold his wrists. “Why can’t you see that it’s better this way? Graham is… He’s  _stable_ , Killian. He has a job, a home, he doesn’t have to worry about providing for us because he  _can_.”

“And why can’t I?”

She frowned and scrunched her eyes, hating how she had to tell him her dark thoughts. “How do I know if we get back together that you  _won’t_  go back to your old life? You’re an ex-con, Kill. You’re not going to be able to work because no one will hire you, and what are you going to do then? You’ll have to start stealing again, and drag Henry and me into it, as well.”

“How do you know I would? Could you not wrap your mind behind the idea that I’ve changed? That people will look past the criminal charges and hire me?”

She shot her left hand towards Henry. “You refused to tell your own son that you went to jail for  _ten years._ ”

He pointed his finger back and her. “You told him I was  _dead_. You have no right to blame me for keeping information from him.”

“I did it to  _protect_ him, us.”

“You did it because you’re embarrassed of me, of what you used to be.” Her heart began to beat fast, hating that ten years and four days later, he could  _still_  pinpoint everything, seeing her like an open book. “You’re too bloody stubborn for your own good, Emma. You’re afraid to let me in because you’re afraid that maybe your perfect little world wasn’t as perfect as you thought!” He began walking towards the helm. “You’re a coward, Emma, and now Henry is going to suffer without a father because of it.”

“Don’t you  _dare_  bring Henry into this, Killian. He was happy before you came back. He already  _had_  a father in his life, and you burst his little bubble. And now we have to go back to Storybrooke and he has to look at Graham  _every day_  and think about how he’s met his real father, and how I broke up this family because  _I chose him over you_.”

“Who’s Henry?” Henry asked, rubbing his eyes. Emma hadn’t even noticed him wake up, realizing that she and Killian were clearly louder than they thought. “And why does Killian keep saying the name Emma?”

Emma couldn’t keep it in anymore, finally letting herself give in to the sadness that had overcome her body. She pointed at Killian, shouting, “He’s your son, Killian.  _You_ explain everything to him. You explain why you weren’t in his life for ten years.” Before anyone else could speak, she began walking to the stairs that would bring her to the captain’s quarters.

She began shaking as she paced the room, and not a moment later, Henry was down by her, giving her a big hug. “Don’t cry, Mom.”

“I can’t help it, Liam. It’s really difficult for me to be around your father.” She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Did he tell you anything?”

“No. I told him I didn’t want to know why he was gone for ten years. He’s back now, that’s all that matters.” He pulled her in tighter. “He’s turning us around right now. He said we have to return the boat before we get charged for having it too long.”

Emma rested her chin on Henry’s head as she nodded her head. “Are you having a fun time with Killian?”

There was a pause before he answered. “Yes. I’m really glad I got to meet him.”

“Good.”

* * *

The ride back was strained and awkward. Killian stared out the window the entire time as Henry pretended (unsuccessfully) to fall asleep. Emma kept her eyes on the road, even if her mind kept drifting, refusing to look at Killian next to her.

Once they got to the hotel, they “woke up” Henry, and the three of them went to the elevator, taking the few short seconds it took to get to their floor.

They silently walked the empty hallways, floating through the moment as they crept towards the room. A left, a right, and then their door came into view.

And the man sleeping in front of it.

“Is that…”

“Graham?” Emma asked, running ahead of Killian and Henry until she knelt in front of him, shaking him awake. “Graham? What are you doing here?”

He slowly opened his eyes, clearly groggy from the trip here and the late hour. “I missed you…” He said, reaching forward to kiss her. Emma responded to his kiss, trying to make it as good as Killian’s earlier, but it was difficult. She could just feel Killian staring at the two of them in the background, and all she could think of was how destroyed he must be looking right now.

He pulled back and ran his thumb across the apple of her check, smiling as he stood up, helping Emma up with him. He brought her in a hug just as Henry showed up at their sides.

“Liam!” Graham asked, turning to him. “How was the trip?” He opened his arms, as if asking for a hug.

A hug that Henry was suddenly hesitant to give.

Henry slowly walked into his arms and put his arms around Graham. “It was great. You had nothing to worry about.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He turned back to Emma. “Can you open the door now? My neck hurts from the plane trip, and sleeping on the floor hasn’t helped.”

“Oh, right…” Emma bit her lip as she pivoted towards the door and placed the keycard into the lock. “How long have you been here?” She asked as she slowly opened the door.

“A couple of hours. Where have you guys been?” He stepped into the room after grabbing his suitcase, Henry following him in.

“Killian took us sailing,” Henry said as Emma stood frozen at the door.

She turned her head to the side, seeing Killian standing by himself in the hallway. Even from the far distance, she saw the red in his eyes, and it took every ounce of self control to keep herself from running over there to hug him and make the pain go away.

“You coming, Leia?” She could feel Graham watching her unusual behavior, stepping out into the hallway with her. “What’re your looking at?”

“Graham, this is Killian,” Emma said, her voice breaking as she said the words. “Liam’s father.”

As if snapping Killian out of some sort of daze, he sauntered over to the door, holding out his hand to him. Emma saw Killian swallow before saying, “Pleased to meet you.”

“You, too,” Graham said, looking slowly at Emma, as if asking for permission to speak to him. “I, uh, wasn’t expecting you to be here. I thought you’d be your house.”

“The same could be said for me, I suppose,” Killian replied, dropping his hand when Graham didn’t reach for it. “Where are my manners, come in, come in.”

The three of them entered the hotel room, seeing Henry sitting at the table, not breathing as he watched the scene unfold.

“Wow, Liam sure does take after you,” Graham noted as he went over to the table and sat next to Henry, as if claiming him. “It’s like he’s a mini-Killian.”

Emma looked between the two men, unable to bring a smile to her face as she chuckled. “Uh, yeah. Did I not mention that?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“He’s definitely my son,” Killian replied, as if claiming him. He walked over and sank down onto the bed, staring at Graham with death in his eyes.

“Have we met before?” Graham asked, tilting his head to the side. “You look really familiar…”

Killian shook his head as he reached behind his ear to scratch his neck. “Can’t say that we have, mate.”

Graham reached his hand up to stroke his chin. “I could have sworn I’ve seen you before.”

“I’ve been here in Arizona for the last ten years. Have you visited at all?”

Graham’s eyes narrowed as he continued to stare at Killian. “No, this is my first visit.” Killian then raised both his arms in an  _“I don’t know”_  motion, and when Graham saw his single hand, he drew in a breath. “Oh my god, I know where I know you.”

“What—”

“You’re that one-handed guy that just got out of prison. You’ve been all over the news lately.” Graham reached forward and opened the computer, shutting all of Henry’s homework as he found his way to Google and began typing Killian’s name into the search engine, “Jones and the Mills Mansion” popping up behind it. He clicked on the top link, bringing him to a page with Killian’s mug shot and turning it for everyone to see. “You got out of prison, what, five days ago?”

Killian drew in a breath as he sat up straight on the bed, his eyes darting to Henry as Graham began spilling all of his secrets.

“He… What?” Henry began.

Emma looked between the three boys, not knowing whom to address first. She didn’t get a chance, because Graham suddenly turned to her, his face in pure shock. “Your ex-husband is a convict?”

“I didn’t…”

“Wait…” Graham said, and it was in that moment that Emma understood why exactly he was the head detective, putting pieces together slowly and slowly. He turned the computer back to himself and did some more typing before drawing in a large breath and pushing the computer away from him.

Emma looked at the screen and saw that Graham had opened up Wikipedia and found the page on Killian. A picture of her from 10 years ago, with blonde hair and contacts, smiling at the camera with the words, “Emma Jones, Killian’s wife” was listed under family life, along with a line about how Killian Jones had a son named Henry.

“Graham, I can explain…”

“What did he look up?” Henry asked, grabbing the computer before Emma could close it. “Mom… Is that you?”

“Liam, I—”

She saw Henry reading about it, about  _them_ , when he finally looked straight into Emma’s eyes. “Killian kept talking about Emma because that’s you…” Henry looked towards Killian. “And you called me Henry because… Because…”

“Liam, Graham, if you just let me explain—”

Henry shot up and nearly sprinted to the patio door, slamming it after he stepped out into the warm Arizona air.

Emma didn’t know whom to talk to first, so she began walking towards the patio door before she felt a rough hand on her arm. “I’ll talk to the lad. I don’t think he’d listen to much you’d have to say right now,” Killian said as he walked past her and out onto the patio, leaving her and Graham alone in the hotel room.

The hotel room was eerily quiet as Emma walked over to the table and sat down next to her boyfriend. “I’m sorry, Graham, can you let me explain myself?”

Graham’s hard stare looked straight through her, but he nodded his head, as if giving permission for her to talk. “Killian and I were young, you have to remember your first love, don’t you?” Graham didn’t show any sign of answering, so Emma continued on.

“Well, he became a sort of partner in crime, but then we kind of became  _more_ , and then we had Henry and we got married and—”

“I’d prefer to find out why I’ve been calling you “Leia Swan”, Henry, “Liam”, and thinking your husband was dead for over eight years.”

Emma bit her lip before nodding. She reached over and placed her hand on top of Graham’s, and found it to be a success when he didn’t pull his hand back. “I was at the Mills Mansion with Killian the night he was arrested. The last thing he said to me was that I needed to run away from New Mexico – that’s where we were at the time – and get new identities for ourselves. I didn’t know if I would be indicted, too, so I had to run away. I only just found out I had been cleared of all charges ten years ago when I watched a news segment on Killian’s release date.”

“You’re trying to tell me that for ten years, you pretended to be Leia Swan and lied to everyone about who you really were?”

Emma let out a sigh as she glanced out the window. She saw Henry and Killian hugging on the deck, and in that moment, she was positive that Killian would have been a wonderful role model and father to her son. She turned her eyes back to Graham. “I  _had_  to. I thought I was going to be arrested and that Henry was going to be put in the system like me. I couldn’t do that, I  _had_  to be there for my son. And then I met you,” she brought her hand up to his cheek. “I met you, and being Leia Swan wasn’t a ruse as much, but more of who I was. I hadn’t been called Emma in ten years, until five days ago, and I barely registered it the first time Killian said it.”

“I believe you,” Graham said after a while. “I’m still mad, but I believe you, even if I have no reason to trust you anymore.”

“You have too big of heart,” she said, leaning forward to kiss him. “I love you.”

It was short, but it sealed a deal that they would get through this, that this was going to be the big hurdle in their life together, and eventually, they will get past this.

“So, why did you come back here?” Graham asked, after a while more of silence.

“You were talking about marriage, and I realized I could never marry you until I divorced Killian. The divorce papers are in my bag, and I’m just waiting for Killian to sign them.”

A small grin turned up on Graham’s face. “You were getting a divorce because I mentioned getting married? Does that mean…”

“Yes, I was picturing a future with you before this all happened.”

Graham opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when he heard the patio door slide open. Henry and Killian came in grinning at each other, Killian’s handless-arm on Henry’s shoulder. Graham’s face dropped at the sight, but held his tongue.

“Liam,” Emma began, walking over to Henry and putting her arms around him. “I’m so sorry I lied, kid. I promise I will never lie to you again.”

Henry stood still for a moment before finally reaching around her back. “It’s almost 1:00, and I’m tired.”

“Don’t you want to talk—”

“Killian’s told me everything I need to know.” Henry interrupted, his voice harsher than she’s heard in a while. “I’m going to bed. Try not to be too loud.”

He walked over to the bed and crawled under the covers, leaving Killian, Graham, and her on the other side of the room.

“I think…” Emma held a hand up to her forehead. “I think I’m drained, too. Goodnight.” Emma went over to Graham and gave him a small peck, walking over to Killian after and squeezing his shoulder before going on the opposite side of the bed.

The last thing she heard was Killian telling Graham to take the couch, and that he’s slept in much worse places than the patio of an upscale Arizona hotel.

* * *

She didn’t open her eyes when she woke up, all the memories of the previous night still fresh in her brain. It felt as if the whole thing didn’t happen if she  _just wouldn’t open her eyes_ , like it would become real as soon as she woke up.

Henry was snoring next to him, and she could smell coffee in the distant. She was debating waking up to have some of her own until she heard Killian and Graham’s voices coming from the table across the room.

“Thank you for taking care of Emma and Henry all these years,” Killian said in a hushed tone. “Emma’s right when she said that you’re the stable one, that if I never went to jail and we stayed together, there could have been more serious consequences than a 10-year prison sentence.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Graham replied. “I love them – they’ve been my family since Leia—Emma let me into their lives.”

There was a pause before Killian continued on. “What was Henry like as a kid?”

“What do you mean?”

“I knew him as a baby. Tell me your favorite father/son story when he grew up. I’ve only gotten bits and pieces from what Emma’s told me, and nothing has been through the eyes of a man,” Killian explained. “Tell me about what it was like?”

She could picture the smile on Graham’s face when he tried to figure out what to say. “There was this one time when he was, oh, six or so, that Liam – I mean, Henry – wanted to learn how to ride a bike without training wheels. It was summer, and I took the day off to just be with him.” Emma heard Graham let out a breath. “I put his little bike into the backseat along with a helmet and his hand, knee, and elbow pads, and we drove to this empty parking lot by the station. And he was just so scared, but he pretended that it was no big deal – like he knew exactly what he was doing. He was terrible at it at first, he couldn’t even get a full pedal in before falling down. But he was determined, and he kept on riding and riding and falling until he finally did it. He was so proud of himself.”

Emma was about to sit up and talk to them when she heard Killian speak again. “I can’t leave Arizona for a year.” She heard one of them shift. “You’re all leaving and it’s going to be another year before I see him again.”

“Believe me – Henry is going to want to call you every night to tell you how his day went.”

“Emma says that, too…” Killian sighed. “Make sure they’re okay for me, alright?”

Emma finally opened her eyes to see the two men, sitting opposite of each other at the table. She sat up on the bed before sliding out and making her way towards an empty seat next to Graham. “We better start packing. What time’s your flight, Graham?”

“12:30 – I bought a ticket for the one you’re on.”

Emma smiled before turning towards Henry. “Liam! It’s time to wake up!”

She saw Henry shift in the bed, groggy from staying up so late. “Five more minutes.”

“Sorry, kid, but if we’re going to make it to the airport on time, we have to start packing.” Emma stood up and walked over to the closet and pulled out her and Henry’s suitcases.

Henry got out of bed and began picking up his clothes and books, shoving them haphazardly into the suitcase.

Emma began doing the same with her own clothing – a little more graceful than Henry, albeit. But, while Henry seemed to be ignoring her, she was doing everything in her power to avoid Killian.

They parted once, and it nearly killed her. It was so hard to think she was going to do that,  _again_. The first time, it was by force. This time, it was by choice.  _Her_  choice, and that’s what made it so much more difficult.

Graham began packing his own bag, and Killian the little duffle bag he had after coming out of prison. Every once in a while, he’d stare at Emma, a look on his face as if saying,  _“Can we talk?”_

Emma refused to look at him, knowing she’d break if she did. She had to be strong – for Graham, so he thinks she’s truly moved on, and for Henry, who is about to leave the father he just met. Killian began helping Henry pack his things, since his bag had been so small, and the sad smiles on their faces were breaking her heart.

After what seemed like too short of time, the room was packed, and there was no reason for them to still be there. Henry immediately went to Killian and threw his arms around him, finally crying as if the realization that he was being separated from his father truly hit him.

Emma couldn’t look at the sight, but she wasn’t able to turn off her hearing.

“Henry, I’m going to move to Storybrooke as soon as I possibly can.”

“That’s a whole year away! Can’t I stay here with you?”

Killian chuckled. “You can’t up-and-leave right now – that’s not how life works.”

“But, we missed out on so much.”

“I know.” There was a pause. “We’ve spent 10 years apart, another one will feel like nothing. Plus, you’ll have your mother and… and you’ll have Graham.”

There was an odd shuffling next to her, as if Graham was having a hard time listening to this conversation just as much as she was. When she looked at his face, she realized how awkward he felt. She turned to him and gave him a hug. “We have to get going,” he whispered, kissing the crown of her head.

“I know,” she replied. “I just don’t know how to break that up.”

“I can’t be the one to do it, Leia. Liam is already going to hate me for not being his father – I can’t be the one to break up their bye.”

Emma nodded, turning around and walking over to Henry and Killian. She placed a hand on Henry’s shoulder, unable to look Killian in the eyes. “It’s time to go, Liam.”

She felt Henry’s body deflate as he reached forward and brought Killian into a big hug. “I love you, Henry. Take care, lad.”

And Emma’s heart officially broke at the way Henry said “Bye, Dad.”

When he finally leaned back, Emma, Graham, and Henry began to walk towards the hotel room door until he heard Killian. “Uh, lass? A word?”

Emma gave Graham a look before turning around and taking a deep breath. “I’ll meet you guys at the car.” Graham nodded and they both continued out the door.

Once it was closed, Killian ran up to her, his hand and arm sliding down her arms. “Please, Emma. Please stay. I love you – I love Henry. I can’t… I can’t be without you both in my life.”

“Killian…”

“No, Emma. I just…” He leaned forward pulling her head towards her in a last ditch attempt to convince her to stay. And, she’d admit, kissing him was like a drug, and as he dragged his tongue against her teeth, she knew she never wanted to stop.

But she forced herself to pull back, anyway, hating the sad look on Killian’s face as she did. “Henry and I have to go back to our lives in Maine.”

“But—”

“It’s been nice playing house for these past four days, Killian. But it wasn’t  _real_. This bubble we were in? It was pretend. I’m Leia Swan now.”

“I—”

“Henry, Graham, and I will come visit on his spring break, and then I’ll help you move to Storybrooke after the year.”

That was when the tears started to fall. Killian reached forward and brought her into a big hug. “Don’t leave, Emma. Please, don’t leave.”

She felt her eyes prickle with tears as her shirt dampened with his tears. “We’re going to miss our flight if we don’t go now.” She hated how much her voice wavered as she took a step back, avoiding his eyes. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“Is this what you really wa—”

“I’ll let you know when spring break is. And I left my phone number on a sticky note so you can contact me whenever you get a phone. Henry’s going to want to FaceTime you as soon as possible, so just call me when you figure it out. And the divorce papers are right there on the table.” She pointed to the packet. “Go get a lawyer and have them fax my lawyer when you sign them.”

“Emma…”

“Goodbye, Killian.” Her voice finally cracked as she turned around, rolling her suitcase with her out the door and slowly shutting it.

She felt numb on the elevator ride down, and when she got to the car, she saw Graham and Henry were already in the car, waiting to go.

She slid into the passenger seat, looking down so no one saw her red eyes. “Let’s just go.”

“You okay, Leia?” Graham asked as he reached over and grabbed her hand.

Emma nodded her head. “Yeah, this was just a reminder of how hard it was last time I left him.” She turned around to look at her son in the back seat. “Ready, kid?”

Henry stared out the window and didn’t respond. Emma slowly turned back to Graham with a puzzled look on his face. “We’ve been given the silent treatment.”

Emma lifted her head up in understanding. “I see.”

She then saw Killian exiting the hotel in the distance, his head down and his duffle bag slung over his shoulder. “Let’s go.” She averted her eyes as Graham pulled forward, away from the hotel, and away from her first love.

* * *

She’d like to say, “out of sight, out of mind.” Killian wasn’t coming back to Maine with them, and they were on the airplane, flying further and further away by the second, so she shouldn’t have been thinking about him. But, of course, her mind disagreed with her.

Henry didn’t talk to her the entire plane ride, making it even more difficult not to think about the man she left behind, her first love. But, that was the thing, right? It was a _first_  love, not a final one.

She looked over at Henry, who was watching out the window, and thought about what their life would have been like.  _Really_  thought about how a life with Killian as Henry’s father would have looked like.

They for sure would have had more kids, that’s something she was certain about. Killian had taken to parenthood immediately 12 years ago, and there was no way that they wouldn’t have had another one or two, if not more, kids right now. Would they all look like Henry?

She hoped they’d look like Henry, because that meant they’d look like Killian.

Emma shook her head, trying to ignore the thoughts, but they kept floating in without her permission.

Family photos, trips to the beach, Christmas, New Years, everything floated in her mind.

But, then she thought about how she could have that with Graham. She wasn’t too old to have children; they could have one or two little ones running around within a few years, if they chose. Graham has always liked being a father to Henry, there was no way he’d protest to the idea if Emma brought it up.

In fact, he’d probably be willing to start a family without being married because  _that’s who he was_. He’s never needed a piece of paper saying they were husband and wife – he just needed her in his life.

Just like how Killian needed her right now.

Without warning, she unbuckled and stood up, stretching and walking to the bathroom. She locked the door and looked at herself in the mirror.

As she looked at herself, she saw how wrecked everyone saw her. Her eyes were puffy from crying, but also hanging with bags from the late nights and early mornings of her trip. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get her bottom lip to look normal, a small pout affecting her face too much.

She splashed some water on her face before opening the door and going back to her seat.

It didn’t help the dark thoughts clouding her mind.

* * *

It was nearly 6:00 when they got back to the apartment. Henry immediately went into his room and slammed the door, shouting that he didn’t want to be bothered. Emma sighed as she walked over to her own room and dumped the contents of her bag onto her bed, separating it into dirty clothes and other items.

Graham came in after her, reaching his arms around her waist and bringing her into a hug. He kissed the space in between her ear and jaw. “I really did miss you,” he murmured into her skin.

Emma turned around in his arms and linked her hands around his neck. “Me, too.” She stood on her toes to reach his lips before sitting down on the bed. “I’m exhausted, it’s been a long couple of days.”

Graham nodded his head in agreement. “I think I’m going to take a shower and order us dinner from Granny’s.”

As he went into the bathroom, she walked over to the closet and took down her “Killian Box”. She went to the loose brick and got the key, turning towards the patio door and going out into the cool Maine air.

She opened the box to find the everything exactly where she placed them last time. She found her ring and slipped it on, just for one more second, before pulling out the ones she already looked at to see the other ones she had stored.

She didn’t hear the door open and only realized someone was next to her when she felt Henry looking over her shoulder. “Hi, Liam.”

Henry stared at the picture in her hand before reaching over and bringing it up to his face. It was a picture of Killian and Henry at a Fourth of July parade. Henry was smiling at the camera in an American T-shirt with Killian staring at him, laughing. “You said you didn’t have any pictures of me from New Mexico. You said they were lost when we came over.”

“I only have these few in this box.” Emma looked at Henry over her shoulder. “Would you like to see some of them?”

Henry nodded, taking the seat next to her. Emma dug through the pictures until she picked one up and laughed. “This was a picture of you and Killian sleeping on the couch. You were such a colicky baby, and the only way we could get you to sleep is on Killian’s chest.” She passed it over to him. “He’d often fall asleep with you.”

Henry’s face lighted up at the picture, and there was something about seeing Henry look at these pictures that tugged at her heart. She went back to the box and picked another one. “Oh, and here’s a picture Killian holding you in the hospital.” She passed it over to him. “He was in love with you from your very first breath.”

“And here’s one of your second birthday!” Emma said, reaching into the box. “It doesn’t have Killian in it, but it’s you and me, and you always wanted to know what you looked like younger.”

Henry stared at the pictures of himself as Emma kept passing over new photos. “So are you a natural blonde then?”

“Yeah. The brown hair is dyed.”

“And what about the glasses?”

“I used to wear contacts. Got rid of them when I was on the run so people wouldn’t recognize me.”

Henry turned back down to the pictures Emma had given her when she went digging through the box again. It wasn’t until she picked up one of her and Killian holding the camera out, kissing each other that she broke down.

“What’s wrong?” Henry asked, suddenly concerned.

Emma brushed it off. “Oh, it’s nothing.” She stared at the picture of them, happy and in love, and it physically hurt her to remember that moment.

Henry passed back all the pictures except the one from the Fourth of July. “Can I keep this?”

Emma nodded, reaching over and ruffling his head. “Of course.”

Henry gave a small smile as he stood up, staring at the picture. “I can’t believe my dad’s alive.” He lifted his head to look at Emma. “I can’t believe I finally met him.”

“I’m sorry you missed out on ten years. But, like he said, it’s only one more. And we’ll go and visit him on your spring break, I promise.” Emma stood up to stand by him. “And I bet, as soon as he gets a phone, he’s going to want to FaceTime you every night.”

“It won’t be the same, though.”

“What do you mean?”

Henry sighed. “When he does move back here, it’s not like he’s going to live with us. He might be in Storybrooke, but I’ll still be living here, with you and Graham.”

“Is that so bad?”

Henry shrugged.

“Graham has always been here for you, Henry.” She liked how it felt on her lips, to call him by his given name to his face. “Graham loves you.”

“I know, I know.” Henry said, turning towards the door. “And I love him, too – don’t get me wrong.”

“Then what do you mean?”

Henry scanned her face before dropping his eyes. “I guess I don’t understand how you’re able to move on. I’ve only been with him for four days, and Killian not being here hurts so much that it’s hard to see straight.” He rubbed his thumb over the picture of the two of them. “But I guess that’s the difference between you and me.”

“What? That I decided that it was best for us to come home?”

“No. That I actually know what home means.” Henry opened the patio door. “Graham said dinner will be delivered any minute.” He walked into the house, still holding the picture.

He shut the door, and she was alone again. She walked back to the box, and took out the final picture in the box she hadn’t looked at yet – the one she strategically put upside down in the bottom because it was the hardest to look at.

 Emma was about six months pregnant at the time. She had lifted her shirt above her stomach, revealing her pregnant belly, so Killian could feel Henry’s kick. She was laughing because Killian decided that, instead of just placing his hand on her stomach, he began kissing it.

There was something about that picture, seeing that raw moment of pure happiness that snapped something in Emma.

She was still in love with Killian, that she’s never truly let go of her first love.

Sure, she was able to hide that part of her with fake names and a faithful boyfriend, but after being around him, after touching and kissing him, and seeing who they were and what they meant to each other, it opened a hole that she knew could never be closed again.

Emma shut the box, realizing what she had to do. She quickly ran inside and put the box on her dresser, sticking a few clothes into a backpack and grabbing her purse.

“Graham, can I talk to you for a minute?” She called from her room.

“Dinner’s here — Wait… Where are you going?”

Emma took a deep breath as she stepped towards her almost-fiancé. “Graham, you know how much I love you, right?”

Graham took a step further into the room. “How come I feel as if a “but” is coming up?”

Emma gave a weary smile as she stepped closer, cupping his face. “ _However_ , I gave away my heart a long time ago, and I can try to pretend to give it to you, too, but you’ll never fully have it.”

“You’re going to throw away eight years together because of, what, a four year relationship with a man you used to break the law with? Who you all but forgotten until six days ago?”

Emma shook her head. “No. I’m not throwing anything away, Graham. I’m just… I’m never going to be able to give myself to you knowing in my heart that it beats for Killian.” Emma turned around and grabbed her backpack, slinging it over her shoulder. “I’m going back to Arizona.” She looked back at Graham with hooded eyes. “Will you watch over Henry for me? I understand if you won’t – I can call Granny or something.”

“Henry…” Graham looked out the door towards the kitchen, as if trying to see him. “No… No, I can watch him.”

His voice cracked when he turned back towards her. “Thank you,” she murmured, stepping up on her toes to kiss his cheek. “I’ll be back by Friday, I promise.”

“Friday.”

“And then, then I don’t know what. I just, I have to get back to Killian.”

Graham walked over to the bed, sinking down and looking like he just saw someone die. Which, if she were being honest, wouldn’t be too far off from what happened. They’ve been together for eight years, lived together for five, been talking about _marriage_ , and she’s just leaving him.

“Goodbye,” she said, running out the door.

She kissed Henry on the head. “I’ll be back soon, Henry.”

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Arizona.”

* * *

Stepping into the Arizona airport for the second time that day, she noticed how different it was at night. The artificial light was needed now that the sun had set, causing a dimmed atmosphere. But Emma didn’t care. She raced to the car rental and asked for whatever car was available, paying whatever price as she ran towards the parking lot.

It was only after she started the car that she realized she had no clue where he was. He wasn’t going to be at the hotel – with no money, he couldn’t afford it – and clearly he didn’t go apartment hunting while in prison. He didn’t have a phone she could call, and he could be anywhere by now. She hit the steering wheel, understanding the stupidity of the plan.

She sat back in the convertible, closing her eyes. It was nearly 2:00 in the morning, due to the time Maine had a flight to Arizona. She tried to figure out where he would go, what he would do now that he was a free man meandering Arizona. She opened her eyes and looked at the sky. There were no clouds that night, and she could see every single star in the sky. And that’s when she knew where he’d be.

She put the car in drive and, despite how tired she was, she drove and drove through Arizona. She continued to drive to a little beach in the heart of the state.

And, sure enough, in the distance, she saw a black figure, lying on the very beach they had their first kiss.

She ran – actually ran – until she was standing over him. He was frowning, in his sleep, and if the wrinkles on his forehead were any indication, he was clearly having a fitful slumber.

She brought her hand up to his forehead and ran her thumb over the lines. Killian jerked awake, looking around to find who was touching him.

When he finally focused on Emma, his face bunched up in confusion. “Did you guys miss your flight?” he asked, groaning when he sat up.

Emma grinned, but shook her head. “No. Henry and Graham and I all got back to Storybrooke safe and sound.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I came back.”

“Why?”

Emma scooted closer, still kneeling in the sand. “You got in my head, Killian.” She ran her hand through his hair. “And your son made me realize that home wasn’t in Storybrooke with Graham, but with you, wherever you are.”

Killian’s face morphed into pure happiness. “What are you saying, love?”

Emma reached past him, digging through his duffle bag until she came to the unsigned divorce papers. She grabbed them and crumpled them into a ball. She stood up and ran towards the edge of the lake and used all of her energy to throw it.

It didn’t make it far, though, and Killian dove into the cold lake, swimming the short distance until he reached the ball of damp paper. He took it and threw it further away, and when they couldn’t see it anymore, he turned around and smiled.

Emma laughed as she entered the water, walking until she was right next to him. She placed an arm on each shoulder, linking her hands behind his neck. Her face dropped, suddenly becoming serious. “Being back in Storybrooke felt wrong, knowing you were still here.”

“You know I can’t come back with you when you leave again.”

Emma leaned forward, brushing her lips across his softly. “You know that the only reason I’m going back is to pick up Henry and pack our stuff.”

“You’re moving to Arizona?”

“We’re moving to wherever you are.”

“Well, then.” He hugged her even closer. “Welcome home, Swan.”


End file.
